Career Tips, Fashion Tips, Health Tips, Life Style Tips, Life Tips, Management Tips, sexy

It's in the jeans

2008-07-21T12:47:00.007+01:00

It's in the jeans:
Classic labels lose to celebrity brands

A younger generation of buyers is swapping Levi Strauss, Wrangler and Lee for lines by Victoria Beckham and P Diddy, writes Rachel Shields

They have hugged cowboys' bottoms since 1870. In the 1980s, Levi Strauss jeans became the must-have denims, when Nick Kamen shed his in a launderette for a TV advert. But now the company is looking threadbare, having recently suffered a 98 per cent drop in profits.

Classic cowboy labels such as Wrangler and Lee are struggling to hold their own in a market that has become dominated by designer brands and "delebrity denim" carrying the names of celebrities such as Victoria Beckham.

Levi Strauss first made trousers for prospectors in the California gold rush. The label was more famous for the hard-wearing quality of its jeans than for their sharp tailoring. While looking good might not have been a priority back then, it is in 2008, when denim is more likely to be found on the red carpet than at the coalface.

Classic labels now face competition from celebrities-turned designers, who are cashing in on the lucrative jeans market. Sales of Victoria Beckham's line for Rock and Republic are reported to be strong. The OC actress Rachel Bilson is the latest star to get in on the act, co-designing a collection of jeans for DKNY. And the rapper LL Cool J will be pitching his denim leisure wear against P Diddy's Sean Jean range in the autumn.

Levi Strauss is not the only established jeans company to have experienced problems. VF Corporation – which includes the veteran brands Wrangler and Lee – saw sales fall by 6.4 per cent in the first quarter of this year.

Meanwhile, boosted by celebrity endorsements, newer premium jeans labels such as Citizens of Humanity, J Brand, 7 For All Mankind and Paper Denim and Cloth are becoming household names. Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba and Kate Moss are rarely seen out of their J Brand jeans, and the company has just launched a new collection aimed at curvier women.

DKNY Jeans has also opened a string of shops across the UK this year, while the US designer Tommy Hilfiger's label Hilfiger Denim recently reported a 22 per cent annual increase in UK sales.

"If brands are really popular with one generation, then the next won't want to wear them," said David Pyne, UK manager for Tommy Hilfiger. "Kids just don't want to wear the same jeans as their dads."

Aimee Brown, denim buyer for Selfridges department stores, added: "Many of the older brands are not as well fitted to the body as other newer ones. Girls want their bum lifted, their stomach flatter, their thighs thinner, and with the new advances in denim, the jeans feel and look better on the body than old-school styles."

Armin Broger, president of Levi Strauss for Europe, the Middle East and Africa, said: "All these new jeans brands have been around for a couple of years, and what we are seeing is a crowding out. [But] Levi's is known for its ads, and we'll be launching a big advertising campaign in the autumn."

Why do men die younger?

2008-07-21T12:23:00.003+01:00

They're twice as likely as women to be dead by 65. So why are they the weaker – and what can they do to live longer?

There is a charming anecdote that Marianne Legato, a best-selling American author and the professor of clinical medicine at Columbia University, tells about her father. He was a short, muscular and fit man, a successful physician like his daughter, who had one other passion in his life apart from medicine: hunting. He used to take his son on frequent hunting trips and on one occasion they came to the edge of a sunflower field.

"The plants were tall and entangled together, making it very difficult to walk through them. My father, who was about 70 at the time, bent his head and simply started out, doggedly trudging through the field with no complaint, never pausing to rest and never commenting on how difficult the passage undoubtedly was.

"On another trip, my brother found him sitting on the edge of his bed, smoking, at three in the morning. 'What's the matter, Dad?' he asked. My father answered, pointing to his head: 'Too much traffic.' That was all he said. It would never have occurred to him to confide in one of his sons – or anyone else."

This insight into the family's modus operandi appears in the opening chapter of Dr Legato's latest book, Why Men Die First. It illustrates a truth about the male psyche: a bloody-minded refusal to ask for help. Dr Legato's father took risks, had enormous confidence and dismissed anything that might be interpreted as a sign of weakness. When he died of cancer, 10 years before her mother, it was partly because he had ignored the fact that his urine was blood-tinged for two years before he asked a colleague to examine his bladder.

For Dr Legato, part of the solution is that men need to live more like women. "Men are told from an early age to 'suck it up'," she says. "They are socialised to get on with it and it is left to women to urge them to go to the doctor, usually ineffectively."

It is extraordinary, as the opening sentence of her book says, that in a society where health is an obsession, we are not investigating in more detail the most fundamental question of all – why one sex should die before the other.

On average, women live seven years longer than men. Boys die more frequently than girls in infancy and in childhood. Between the ages of 20 and 24, three times more men die than women, and men are twice as likely to die before 65. Heart disease, cancer, suicide, accidents and murder are all higher among men.

The difference in death rates between the sexes has puzzled doctors on both sides of the Atlantic. In Britain, the former chief medical officer, Sir Donald Acheson, has a single word explanation for the gender gap: hormones. Among younger, testosterone-fuelled men, accidents and violence are the chief cause of death, whereas in later life they are carried off by heart disease – against which women are protected by the female hormone, oestrogen. Men also die in larger numbers from lung cancer, because they tend to be heavier smokers than women. It is men's "rash and venturesome natures" that rendered them the weaker sex, he says.

Dr Legato agrees that hormones supply a "tremendous part of the answer". But this raises a further question. "Why are we not looking for an oestrogen-like molecule to protect men from coronary disease?" she says. "Men start to die from heart disease from the age of 35 – it should be regarded as important as breast cancer."

Twenty years ago, men and women were regarded as indistinguishable in terms of the way their bodies functioned. Gradually, that view has changed as it has become clear that the two sexes are different, not just in the obvious ways, but in every system of their bodies. In 1992, Dr Legato wrote The Female Heart, exploring the reasons why heart disease affects men and women differently. That experience led her to create a discipline of gender specific medicine.

Today, the sexes are becoming homogenised as they exchange roles – she interviewed female soldiers, firefighters and boxers for the book as well as house husbands. But it is too early to say whether these changes will shift attitudes at a deeper level. Why is it, for example, that there are more cases of melanoma (the most serious form of skin cancer) in women, but more deaths in men?

Her latest book traces what she calls the "fragility" of men throughout their lives. As well as biological differences, social pressures on men can be lethal, she says.

Now in her seventies, Dr Legato has two children of her own, a son and a daughter, whom she admits to having treated differently, sending the boy to a tough school renowned for its discipline, while the girl attended a "softer" institution.

The legacy of that decision is still evident. Her son, a lawyer in his mid-thirties, called her recently to tell her he was sick and would not be going to work. Three days later he called again and it was clear that he was seriously ill, but had done nothing about it.

She says: "If he had asked for help earlier, I think we could have made him better sooner, but he talked of soldiering on. I wish he would read my book, but I don't think he will. He is not interested in why men die first."

Health risks every man should know about

Obesity

A waist measurement over 37 inches increases your risk of health problems such as diabetes and heart disease. Eat healthily and lose that gut.

Unprotected sex

Up to 50 per cent of men (70 per cent of women) with a sexually transmitted infection don't show any symptoms. Use a condom

Too little exercise

Staying fit is the key to good health. Walking is fine (10,000 steps burns 500 calories) and if you jog or swim or play football (700 calories an hour), you burn more.

Heart disease

There are more than 200,000 deaths a year in the UK from heart disease and stroke and together they account for almost one in three premature deaths (before age 75) in men. Check your blood pressure (should be below 160/100 mmHg) and cholesterol level (ideally less than 5mmol/litre).

Smoking

Men still smoke more and die more frequently from smoking than women. It increases the risk of heart disease, half a dozen kinds of cancer and other illnesses such as bronchitis. Half of all smokers will die from their habit if they do not stop. Give it up.

Drinking

Heavy drinking is common among men. In moderation alcohol enhances enjoyment and reduces the risk of heart disease. In excess, it leads to social and psychological distress and physical damage. Three small glasses of wine or a pint and a half of beer a day is fine – more could be problematic.

Testicular cancer

Although still rare, rates have trebled in the past 25 years and it is the commonest cause of cancer deaths in men aged 15-35. Check your testicles regularly.

Prostate cancer

The commonest in men with 35,000 cases and 10,000 deaths a year. Be alert to warning signs (difficulty peeing or getting up in the night).

Other cancers

Don't ignore symptoms (persistent cough, blood in the urine or faeces) – early treatment increases the chance of a cure.

Your Career In 2008…Get A Fresh Start

2008-07-16T14:12:00.000+01:00

Have you thought about your career goals for 2007? What worked to years ago in planning and managing your career will not work for your career development in the 21st Century. Managing your career in the 21st Century requires preparation, career goal planning and career guidance and ensuring that your time is directed meaningfully.

Here is how to find enjoyment and continue to progress in your career.

1. Determine if your present job is in line with who you are, what you value, and what you are good at. Are you really doing what you want to do? Being self-aware means you become clear about what you stand for and what you have to offer. When you know what you have to offer, you become more powerful and intentional in your work. Doing a good job is no longer good enough to guarantee your career will go well. You are your most important asset. Self-branding provides direction and clarity of purpose for how you work, not just what you do for a living.

2. Identify your job satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Find a way to do more of the tasks/projects that you enjoy.

3. Identify your accomplishments.

4. Take the time to build and maintain relationship with individuals who might impact your work. You will benefit personally and professionally from the time you invest in such relationships.

5. Determine and write down your vision for your professional life. What actions do you need to take that will get you there? Celebrate the steps you take daily to achieve your vision. You can create the life you want! Here are some ways you can do that:

* Keep work in perspective - remember how you left work on time in the summer?

* Manage your stress - identify what causes you stress and how it affects you.

* Take time out - close your door (if you have one), call forward your phone, turn off your e-mail, take a walk. Use this time “during your work day” to prepare for a big meeting, a presentation or work on a project.

* Delegate - are you spending too much time on the administrative process of your job and not utilizing your skills to benefit your long-term goals and your company’s goals?

* Work/Play Balance - what did you enjoy doing during the summer that you want to continue (going to the movies, playing tennis, volunteering, spending time with your kids, seeing friends, etc.)? Put it on your schedule.

6. Be Bold! Don’t be afraid to take on some responsibilities in positions above you. Aim to always exceed expectations.

7. Manage your own time. Set boundaries. Learn to say “no” to non-essential use of your time.

8. Look for way to do things better, and more efficiently. Change a routine task - develop a new process. Instead of handling your e-mails as you get them, set aside specific times during the day to respond.

9. Be great at what you do. The knowledge and skill that create success in your current job will position you for your next move.

10.Be aware of roadblocks that can limit your potential to move upward.

11.Take on projects that will most likely benefit you.

12.Have passion for what you are doing and working toward. You will automatically put more effort into it. If you are not feeling passionate about your work ask yourself: is what you “should” be doing interfering with what you want to be doing?

Remember! Your career must contribute to your life, not the other way around!

Can I Pull Off Wide Leg Trousers?

2008-07-15T20:06:00.007+01:00

Wide Leg Trousers are hot this season. Don't get left out in the cold because you're not quite sure how to carry this look off. Check out our Do's and Don'ts for this 'must have' trend.

Do wear with a softer top to give this masculine look a feminine touch.

Don't pair with tight tunic styles, opt for a slightly looser style instead.

Do create a streamlined look with monochromatic tones from head to toe.

Do wear with a loosely fitted, belted sweater or tunic.

Do balance a petite frame by pairing with a fitted shirt with minimal details.

Don't forget to have fun - step out of your comfort zone and try something new!

Cool Relationship Tips - part ten

2008-05-09T10:22:00.001+01:00

91. No Place for Abuse
Regardless of how much you love your mate and believe in who they are, there is NEVER an appropriate time for abuse, whether physical, emotional, or verbal. If your mate shows aggression or any form of abuse toward you, seek counseling for both of you immediately to try to work through things. If your mate refuses to go, even if it is hard, leave. First is your safety. Second, it is possible for people to learn ways in which to manage their aggressions. If this is the case, the life of the relationship has a much better chance of surviving!

92. Open Your Eyes
Do not drive yourself crazy with this, but take notice of how your relationship is going. Open your eyes and take stock of what is and is not working in your relationship. Are there definite things missing or definite problem areas that need to be worked on? Think about it. If you invest in the stock market, you pay attention to what is going on so you can make changes if needed. Your relationship is far more than the stock market but requires some of the same strategies.

93. The Grass is NOT Greener!
Too many times, people get tired of working on the relationship they are currently in and feel that by moving on to another person, they will find greener pastures. This is just not the case. What happens is when you move to another person, things are fresh, new, and exciting just as they were in the beginning of your current relationship. Within time, that relationship will also start experiencing differences and bumps in the road. Unless you are being abused or your mate is doing something illegal or completely irresponsible, perhaps the efforts you would put into starting a new relationship would be better spent fixing the one you have.

94. Start a Journal
Keep your personal feelings and discoveries about your mate in a journal. This will help to remember what special things he or she likes or dislikes, track the wonderful times spent together, and help you to feel better when you hit an obstacle in your relationship. When things get a little tough, refer to your journal and read through all the terrific emotions and time together and you will find plenty of reasons to make things right again.

95. Be Flexible
Remember that relationships are give and take situations, not competition between two people who love each other. There will be times when your mate is right and times when you are right. When you feel the conversation getting a little on the edgy side with each of you trying to hold ground, do not forget that there can be many ways to accomplish the same task. The result is that each of you might learn something new from the other person. Put your heads together and do what makes the most sense instead of battling for ownership of the solution.

96. Cut out the Excuses
A major turn-off in many situations, not only relationships, is people who have an excuse for everything. Forget that. Do not make excuses in fear of your mate not liking, loving, or respecting you. Be yourself and if you messed up with something, just admit to it. Say you had promised to make dinner, got home exhausted, and just did not feel like making it, do not tell your mate, "I had to work overtime." Be honest and say, "You know, I got home after a busy day and I was too tired. What sounds better, Chinese or Pizza?" This has taken you out of the situation of lying and reconfirmed your honest nature to your mate.

97. Spirituality
Statistics show that couples that spend time in church together usually have strong relationships. Bringing spirituality into your relationship is important. Allow the love of God to be your ultimate guide and spend time having devotions together at night. If you are just starting out dating, religious preference may not seem like a big deal at first, but soon into the relationship, it can be a big trouble spot. Make time for God in your life and consider dating someone who shares the same faith!

98. Learn to be Successful
Many couples are starting to go to counseling or relationship/marriage classes much earlier in their relationship rather than waiting until after the marriage is in trouble. This is a great option for learning how to have a healthy, lasting relationship and develop open communication.

99. Work and Home Do Not Mingle
How many times have you heard this? It is true. While sharing experiences about your day with your mate is perfectly normal, living your work at home is not. If you have to bring work home, set a specific amount of time it will take you to complete, let your mate know, and then when quitting time comes, quit! It is important to separate the two parts of your life and keep you work at the job, and when at home, pay attention to your mate and/or family.

100. Encourage Friendships
Men, unlike women, have a more difficult time in developing close friendships with other men. This is a natural part of life and while they may have some buddies from high school or college that they see on occasion, rarely do they set specific time aside just for friends. Men and women both need an outlet outside of the relationship where they can just "let their guard down" and have some fun with the same gender. As your mate makes new friendships, encourage that growth and show 100% support!

101. Confidentiality
Women are usually blessed with the gift of gab, making it easy, sometimes too easy, to talk to other people. Keep information shared to you by your mate in 100% confidence. Unless they have told you of a crime they have committed, they are confiding in you and placing full trust in your relationship. All it takes is one time of spilling private information for the entire relationship to suffer.

As you can see, relationships take work. However, with the right attitude, a lot of hard work, and some unique ideas on how to make it successful, couples can have a strong, lifelong relationship!

Cool Relationship Tips - part nine

2008-05-09T10:18:00.001+01:00

81. Follow Your Instincts
When things are going in a wrong direction, often people will simply keep going in the same direction while hoping that things work themselves out. The result is usually negative. Instead, listen to your gut feelings, your inner instincts. If you believe that something is bothering your mate or not right in your relationship, keep it between you and your mate and work things out as a couple.

82. Be Creative
The words, "I love you," are always welcomed but why not add some creativity to the way you tell your mate you love them. Rent a billboard in a location where you know your mate drives every day that clearly says, "I love you," request that your mate's radio station play a special song and message on his or her way to work, or if celebrating a special anniversary, have a skywriter fly by a ball stadium, park, or somewhere special where you are spending quality time together outdoors.

83. Make Eye Contact
You may not think this is important, but think back to the first time you saw your now mate. More than likely, the first interaction was through eye contact. If you are having dinner during the holidays with a large group of family and friends, glance over to your mate and give them a seductive wink, or if your mate is giving a speech and you are there to offer support, attentively look at them, making directly eye contact and offer a warm reassuring smile. Eyes can say a lot!

84. Learn More about Your Mate
Either find a good questionnaire or create one that does not dig up the past, but focuses on discovering other qualities about each other. One happily married couple did this and the wife, who had been standing by her husband for more than 10 years, discovered that he used to be a competitive ice skater. She had no idea. Guess what they did on Saturday?

85. Change Routines
Understand that every once in a while, it is important to throw an exciting curve into your relationship. If you are in a routine for example of offering your mate a quick peck on the lips before you part ways for the day, try adding a soft, gentle kiss on the neck. You can be assured that throughout the day, that change in routine, is what will be on your mate's mind.

86. Dance
Finding a nice place where the two of you can enjoy a slow dance is a great way to spend time together, holding each other without saying a word. Keep in mind that to accomplish this, you can stay home and simply move some furniture out of the way, light some candles, and put on your favorite soft music and enjoy some quiet, romantic time together.

87. Sunrise/Sunset
Too often people miss the beautiful miracle of a sunrise or sunset. Schedule time to get up early one morning with a thermos of hot coffee or cappuccino and find a quiet place where the two of you can go just to watch the sun rise or set. Appreciate what nature has to offer and share it with each other.

88. Explorations
Find something they you are both interested in exploring and do it together. For example, if you live in a place where there are caves, make a day of driving around and exploring caves. Be sure to take the right equipment and safety precautions but this puts you both in a position of trusting each other and discovering something new and exciting together.

89. To Tell or Not to Tell
Experts will disagree on how much of a person's past should be shared in a relationship and while some things probably should be shared, most people lean more to not sharing every aspect of the past. First, it is the past. Think back to how much people grow through the teen years to mid-twenties. Offering unnecessary information from the past is a great way to create distrust, insecurity, and more questions than answers. Be wise when sharing.

90. Respect Privacy
When two people come together in a relationship, each person has their own set of history. There are yearbooks, maybe love letters from a first love, other objects that may not seem important to one person but to the owner, they have a special meaning. It is important to respect the privacy of your mate's "stuff." Do not dig through boxes of things owned by your mate out of curiosity. Instead, allow them to bring those things out if they feel it is necessary. By helping yourself, you are disrespecting something sacred to your mate, which is not healthy for any relationship.

Cool Relationship Tips - part eight

2008-05-09T10:17:00.001+01:00

71. Special Music
Select numerous songs that your mate would enjoy and have them either recorded on a cassette or burned on a CD that can be enjoyed while driving to and from work. To add a little spice, record a few secret messages every few songs just reminding them how much you love and appreciate them.

72. New Adventures
Arrange for the two of you to try something new together. If you are both the athletic type, enter yourselves into some type of physical competition. If the two of you like the fine arts, audition for roles in a local community theater. Perhaps you like to travel. If so, arrange for a short trip to some place exotic that you have never been before.

73. Adopt a Family
When the Christmas holiday starts getting closer, locate a family together from your church or local charity services that needs to be adopted for Christmas. Together, shop for the gifts, and have the family over for the most scrumptious holiday dinner. You will both appreciate what you have even more as well as your own special relationship.

74. Getting Married
If your relationship has moved to a set wedding date and the countdown has started, do something unique and fun. Visit a candy store and have 30-miniature candy hearts made, each with a special message of love. Each day, present your mate with the appropriate candy heart. As you get down to the final days before the wedding, they might read something like, "Only two more days", "Tomorrow: The Big Day", "I love you, your wife (or husband)."

75. Motivate Each Other
Find a mutual incentive that will motivate both of you to being the best you can be. Find something that you can both be excited about and then attach some type of reward to the motivation. If one of you has had a dream of writing a screenplay, make that your goal and take that on together. The motivation is that when finished, the two of you will take a beautiful, romantic weekend vacation to some exotic place. The goal could be anything that is important to one person or both and that can be worked toward completion together. Another example would be if your mate has always dreamed of buying an old model car and restoring it do it together and then take a special trip to the Indy 500 as your reward. Yet another example might be to restore a home. Make this a joint project and then as a reward, add a Jacuzzi into your plans. Use your imagination and enjoy the venture together.

76. Embrace Change
There is no relationship on the face of the planet that goes for years and years without change. People change as they mature and view life differently, therefore reacting differently. Rather than get upset with each other over change, embrace change. You may not always like the changes that happen, but do not throw away a perfectly good relationship just because the trail starts to wind. Be patient and encourage new directions while being honest about concerns that might arise.

77. Reap What You Sow
This is an old saying that goes back a very long way but it still holds true today. If you sow love, forgiveness, faithfulness, encouragement, honesty, and acceptance, then that is what you will reap. It is definitely true that what you put into a relationship is what you get back.

78. Board Games
Pick a night, perhaps on a cold winter night, and just enjoy playing board games. This can be with just the two of you, or with several close friends. Bring out the snacks, beverages, and just have some fun. Laughter and fun are important factors in any relationship, for any age. Laugh and enjoy having a good time with good honest fun! You will truly be amazed at what this can do for your relationship.

79. No Interference
Do not allow other people to interfere with your relationship. If family members try to get in the middle of fights or debates, that is definite trouble. You might have friends with well-meant intentions trying to help you and your mate solve problems. Although getting another person's perspective is not a bad thing, make sure it is when you ask for it. It is very important to keep integrity in your relationship and not allow people to interfere.

80. Adore your Mate
Beyond telling your mate that you love them, that they are special, and having passion in your relationship, you should adore your mate and what they bring into the relationship. What that means is to appreciate and love them for the person they are, faults and all. This is true devotion to your mate and demonstration that you do not take them for granted.

Cool Relationship Tips - part seven

2008-05-09T10:16:00.001+01:00

61. Photo Album
As a wonderful keepsake, create a photo album for your mate. Include the parents or siblings to come up with some special childhood and teenage pictures. Include family, friends, special occasions, and times of the two of you together. Whenever the two of you feel as though you are drifting apart or taking one another for granted, pull out the photo album as a reminder of the incredible person in your life.

62. The Art of Gift Giving
Everyone loves to be given a gift, especially as a surprise or "just because." Just remember while giving gifts is a beautiful thing to do for the person you love, there are five key essentials for making your mate know that you are giving just because you love them. First, put some thought into the gift. Do not just pick up something at the last minute so you are not empty handed. Second, make the effort. Even if you have a busy schedule, be sure to schedule time to shop. Third, give with the right attitude. You give because you appreciate and love, not because you want something back. Fourth, plan what you are going to give. Find something that is important for your mate and not necessarily to you. Finally, add the element of surprise into the gift giving. Using this equation is sure to impress your mate and leave a lasting impression.

63. Family History
Perform some extensive research on your mate's family history, which will involve some help from the family, and create a website especially for your mate's family where they can share information, pictures, family recipes, and more! This will take some time and planning but very little money. Myfamily.com is a great site that is extremely reasonable. This will not only touch your mate's heart, but the hearts of the entire family.

64. A Day at the Spa
For couples where the mother or father stays home and takes care of the children all day long, show your appreciation for the hard work that takes. Hire a babysitter for about four hours and give your mate a gift certificate to a local spa where they can enjoy a relaxing massage, mineral springs, sauna, mud wrap, or whatever special treatments are available.

65. Charity
Find a charity that you would both like to contribute to and give something special in both names. For example, if there is a synergy house near where you live for unwed mothers, go in together and purchase a crib or baby clothes. Another option would be if a local park needs donations, find out what kind of trees they need and purchase a tree together. Make this something special where you go shop together and then present together. These types of kind acts are great for bringing couples closer together and help both people love and appreciate each other even more for their kindness.

66. Thunderstorms
While some people find thunderstorms to be scary, they can also be viewed as being romantic. If you have having a thunderstorm in your area, without putting yourself in harm's way, sit out on your porch if the storm is still off in the distance, or cuddled on the couch near a large window and just watch the lightening together.

67. Take Pride in Yourself
Every relationship goes through down time. Just because the flame has become a mild flicker, that does not mean you have lost the love for each other, it just means you need to add a little fuel to the fire. When couples have been together for a long time, the makeup comes off, the nice clothes turn into oversized sweats and tee shirts, and instead of cuddling on the sofa or floor, one sits on the couch and the other in the recliner. Step back in time and start getting dressed up more on the weekends, invite your mate to sit with you on the couch, dance together in your living room to some music, or take a walk, hand in hand. It is important not to let yourself go, even when your relationship reaches a "comfortable" state. By taking pride in yourself means that you take pride in your relationship.

68. No Jealousy Allowed
To have a healthy relationship, caring and concern are fine but when those emotions change into jealousy, this could be the beginning of trouble. Trust is probably the number one element needed in order to have a strong relationship. Without trust, things will quickly deteriorate. If one of you masters something special, receives a promotion at work, or achieves some great feat, there could be a small spark of jealousy on the other person's side. You need to talk about this and ensure that any feelings of inadequacies are permanently put to rest. Every person needs assurance at some time or another and as long as you can communicate, things will be fine. However, if your mate becomes withdrawn or irritated, these could be signs that more is going on. Once jealousy enters a relationship, problems are soon to follow.

69. Keep in Touch
If you are in a relationship, where your mate serves in the armed forces and is overseas or in another state on duty, away in a foreign country for school, or separated from you for one reason or another, it is important that you keep in touch with each other often. There will be stress from the separation but by keeping in touch and informing each other of the things each person is dealing with, how they feel, etc., you will not have any break in your communication. The goal is that when you get back together, you can easily pick up where you left off. This is a very important time to provide each other with confirmation of your love and validation of your relationship. While this will require some extra effort on both parts, keep in mind that the separation is not forever.

70. Host a Halloween Party
Instead of just passing out candy for Halloween, organize a masquerade party together where everyone is required to come dressed up. Include in your party food, drinks, door prizes, and games. Have a few friends provide help you plan this and then go all out. Choose costumes the two of you can wear to enhance each other. A few suggestions would be to Adam and Eve (wearing skin-toned clothing - no nudity), Batman and Batgirl, Cleopatra and Marc Anthony, Romeo and Juliet, Robin Hood and Maid Marian, or Sonny and Cher. You will have a blast with the planning and searching out your costumes. This type of party is great for good laughs and fond memories of each other, which are important for a good relationship.

Cool Relationship Tips - part six

2008-05-09T10:13:00.003+01:00

51. 12-Month Calendar
As a special gift, have a 12-month calendar created with pictures of special times spent between the two of you. Arrange the pictures to coordinate with the months and then as a Christmas or birthday gift, or just as a special surprise, present it to your loved one.

52. Something Handmade
You do not have to be a world-renowned artist to make something homemade and special for the love of your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your mate that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand.

53. Favorite Meal
If your mate has a meal, that is by far the favorite above everything else, go all out and prepare everything to order. Before they arrive home, put on something nice and a little sexy, light some candles, and have a wonderful surprise waiting.

54. Trip to the Pound
If you and your mate love animals, take a trip to the local animal shelter and pick out a dog or cat that needs a good home. Adopting an animal that needs a home can be a wonderful way to have something that you both can care for and love together. This will open up for long walks, taking your new dog on a walk, or hours of playing with a sweet and funny cat.

55. Day at the Movies
Have a movie marathon some rainy or cold Saturday. Put all your errands and chores on hold and head to your nearest theater. Hit three or four movies and mix it up. Buy the theater popcorn and drinks but sneak your own candy in. This is a great way to spend some fun time together, holding hands or cuddling, while sharing some laughs and maybe tears watching a variety of flicks.

56. A Walk in the Park
Spending quality time together where you can talk and just enjoy each other's company is critical to a good relationship. Plan a nice walk in the park to include a comfortable blanket to sit on the grass with while having a good old-fashioned picnic. Take this time talk, watch other people with their kids, and then just walk around, hand-in-hand.

57. Name a Star
As a special gift, ask your mate to join you outside at night when the sky is black and the stars shining brightly. Point up to the universe and state, "See that star over there? That is your star. I bought it for you." Then present them with the certificate showing that they do in fact have a star named after them. This wonderful gift will last a lifetime!

58. Coupon Book
Create a coupon book filled with any number you like of 20-minute massages. One day when least expected, when your mate comes dragging in the door tired after a long, hard day at work, present this along with a gentle kiss. Although you are the one offering the massages, if you remain faithful to your coupons and never grumble, your love life will more than likely be enhanced and before long, your mate will be the one giving you massages.

59. Dinner by the Fire
Order in some of your favorite food, open a bottle of fine wine, light some candles, and lay out a cozy blanket in front of a roaring fire. Enjoy feeding each other food, sneaking little kisses in between. This wonderful romantic moment will help build your relationship even stronger. This kind of gesture shows your mate that you really want something special from your relationship and that spending quality time together is a priority.

60. Scavenger Hunt
If things have been a little stressed in your relationship, do something extra special. Start by creating a trail of rose petals from the door to the kitchen where your mate will find a note to go to the bedroom. In the bedroom, have another note next to an overnight bag telling them to meet you at a specific hotel restaurant where you know the ambience is cozy and romantic. The note should direct them to ask for you at the restaurant where you will be waiting to enjoy a fine dinner together. After dinner and cocktails, gently lead your mate by the hand to a beautiful room that you have reserved for the night. There on the bed is a robe and a red rose. This will do more for your relationship than you can imagine.

Cool Relationship Tips - part five

2008-05-09T10:10:00.002+01:00

41. Listen to How You Talk
When working on your relationship, more than likely you and your mate have settled into a pattern of speaking to each other. It might be with short, blunt answers, heavy sighs as though bothered, or with negative remarks. Pay attention to not only your words spoken, but also the tone in which they are spoken. Be positive, cheery, and respond in a way that will confirm to your mate that you are listening and truly interested - that you have time to listen and communicate. In addition, add terms of endearment into your conversation. Instead of "Good morning," try, "Hi honey, good morning!"

42. Making Love
Intimacy is a huge part of a successful relationship. Choose a book from the bookstore and try to bring a little excitement into your relationship. Do not be afraid to experiment and learn new and exciting ways to please each other. Keeping intimacy alive is healthy and not a bad thing whatsoever!

43. Turn the Computer Off
Often the computer becomes a replacement for a lack of something in the relationship. It might be just surfing, playing games, or getting involved with websites that promote pornography. If you notice that your mate is spending more and more time on the computer, take this as a sign that even if not doing anything wrong, they are choosing to spend the time with the computer instead of you. In other words, use this as a sign that something is missing in your relationship. Start by talking and searching to confirm what it is bothering your mate and then work on making it better!

44. Follow Tradition
Keep some tradition in your marriage, which relates to the vows you took and the fact that marriage is sacred. Treat each anniversary as a celebration of your love and the time spent together. Follow the traditional anniversary gifts and see how creative you can be. The first year anniversary gift is paper. One husband bought his wife a beautiful Chinese drawing on rice paper, signed by the artist, and had it framed for her. Make this fun, exciting, and keep traditions alive.

45. Control Your Anger
Every relationship has difficulties, and sometimes, there can be some intense arguments. For the sake of your relationship and the love you have for your mate, keep your anger in check. First, when people are angry, hurtful words fly, usually not even meant. However, after spoken, it is too late to take them back - the damage is done. Another problem with anger is that the word "divorce" can easily be thrown around. You may not mean it, but you know it hurts, thus making you the winner of the argument. NEVER talk about divorce in your relationship, even if just teasing. If you need to go to another room to cool off, and then do that, but whatever you do, do not allow your anger to take control of your relationship.

46. Financial Woes
One of the main reasons other than fidelity that marriages fall apart is due to finances. When couples are struggling with money problems, tempers flare, frustration builds, drinking may start, and it is an all-around unhealthy situation. The minute there are any signs of financial difficulties, the two of you need to immediately sit down and figure out a plan on how to deal with the problem. If needed, go to see a financial consultant or a credit counseling service to help you get back on track. Do not allow your finances to get out of line or your relationship will certainly suffer.

47. I Forgive You
If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things to work through. When your mate has done something that requires you to forgive, you have to forgive, REALLY forgive. Once you have worked through the issue either together or with professional counseling, and you tell them that you forgive them, you can never hold that over them again. As an example, if your mate has had an affair and the two of you choose to work it out rather than throw the relationship away, once the problems are resolved and the forgiveness is said, it is done! This means that you cannot stalk your mate to ensure they are where they said they would be, call or page them throughout the day, constantly ask for reaffirmation of your relationship, it means that you forgive and put the past behind you and then move on in a new, strong, and healthy relationship. It will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude, and commitment.

48. Fighting No-No
While having disagreements is normal and sometimes when controlled, healthy for relationships, the place and degree of discussion are important. Keep your disagreements private. Being at a party or anywhere around family or friends and breaking into an argument is a great way to break down a relationship. Not only does it cause embarrassment for your mate, but it also puts a negative light on both of you from the people witnessing the fight. If you are in public and think you need to argue, at least find a quiet corner or separate room where you can discuss whatever it is bothering you.

49. Strong Family Ties
When in a relationship, not only are you involved with the love of your life, but also the family of your mate. It is important to build a strong, healthy relationship with the families as well. Even if you do not see them often, having a good connection with your mate's family will make life for everyone much better all the way around.

50. Mentoring
If you know of another couple from work or your church that has been married for many years and continued to have a strong relationship, ask them if they would mentor you. Being around positive influences and watching someone who leads by example is a great way to learn how to have a good relationship for yourself.

Cool Relationship Tips - part four

2008-05-09T10:08:00.001+01:00

31. Love Means Having to Say You Are Sorry
If you make a mistake by doing or saying something that is hurtful or damaging to the relationship, say that you are sorry. Many people struggle with these words, even when they know that what they did was wrong. It actually takes a strong person to apologize. Do not wait until you think you have the courage but say it immediately, and with sincerity. Too often when couples argue, there is a long period of silence, which actually makes the anger and tension worse. You need to let your mate know immediately that you made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.

32. Be Yourself
Do not be phony in your relationship, trying to be someone or something different as a way to please your mate. For a relationship to work, both people need to be themselves and react to things naturally. Just imagine if you are really kind of on the silly side, enjoying life to the fullest. Then you meet a wonderful person who is much more conservative than you are. Because you are attracted to them, you try to squelch your normal vibrant personality. You are miserable and eventually, the person is going to be exposed to the "real" you. You have to base any relationship on honesty or it will eventually fall apart.

33. Maintain Your Health
You might think - what does good health have to do with a good relationship? In reality, it has a lot to do with it. Having a good relationship means having the energy to enjoy getting out and doing things together. To do that, it is important to eat right. When people are tired, they become short-tempered and frustrated. For this reason, it is important to get the right amount of sleep. Good exercise keeps your body in shape for being adventurous together. Taking care of your body and mind will flow over into your relationship and make you a calmer, stronger, and better-balanced person.

34. Compliment - A Lot
Be generous with compliments. It is very common for people to notice something nice about another person and think about it internally, but never voice it. When in a relationship, compliments are like glue. They hold the couple's attention and respect. Make sure your compliments are genuine and based on something you see or hear your mate do. If you have a clogged garbage disposal and your boyfriend or husband is able to unclog it, compliment them on being handy. If your girlfriend or wife takes her mother to the doctor, compliment her on her generosity. The fact is that criticism is destructive and can very quickly tear a relationship apart. Just like the cliché, "If you do not have something nice to say, then do not say anything at all." This is very true - take notice of the good things your mate does and make it known to them that you see and appreciate those things.

35. Realistic Expectations
No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you have for your mate and yourself are realistic. There are going to be differences in opinion, and probably some disagreements. Also, do not assume that your mate knows how you feel or what you think about something. When discussing something important to you, ensure that you both understand the same thing. The reality is that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the other one needs. As long as you do not expect them to read your mind and accept that this is a part of getting to know one another and communicating, you will be fine.

36. Leave the Baggage Behind
Every person on the face of the Earth has some kind of history, or "baggage", although at varying levels. Do not walk into a relationship with your arms loaded with that baggage. The past is the past. Even though there are things from the past that are hurtful, and even damaging, learn from those things and come out a better and stronger person. This allows you to step into a new relationship with better knowledge of what not to do. Leave the baggage from the past alone, focus on today, and look forward to tomorrow.

37. Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat
Learn from your mistakes. When something goes wrong and the two of you work through it, do not repeat the same mistake. Rather than dive right back into whatever it was you did or said, think before you act. At first, this will take some discipline but as you see positive results in the relationship, be encouraged that it is working.

38. Go on a Date
Especially for married couples, but even for some "dating" couples, start dating. Often people become very comfortable in their relationship and sitting around on the weekends, watching movies is about as exciting as it gets. Ask your mate out. For example, actually call them and ask, "If you do not have any plans for Saturday night, would you like to go to a concert with me?" It is crucial to relationships that they keep the fire alive by enjoying the act of dating. There are many people in long-term, successful marriages that will tell you they go out on dates every week, which has been a huge bonus for their relationship.

39. Memory Box
Start a memory box to store old movie tickets, brochures from cities visited, concert ticket stubs, old ski lift passes, cards attached to flowers received, old love notes or letters, birthday cards or anniversary cards from your mate, anything that the two of you did together. Every once in awhile, pull the box out and look at the items with your mate. Reminisce about each memento, and keep all the special times in your life close to your heart!

40. Keep the Kids Out of It
Whether married or dating, if there are kids involved, it is crucial that they are not used as pawns in any situation. For example, if your mate wants to get intimate and you are not in the mood, do not say, "I need to help the kids with their homework," or if something that needed to be done was not taken care of because you forgot, do not blame it on the kids by saying, "I was taking care of the kids and did not have time." In the first scenario, be honest with your mate and tell them that you are very tired and while intimacy is important, you would prefer to make sure the kids are in bed on time so the two of you can have some quality time together. This opens an honest line of communication and does not place ill feelings on the kids, especially since it is not their problem to begin with.

Cool Relationship Tips - part three

2008-05-09T10:06:00.002+01:00

21. Make The Men Feel Good
For the man in your life, here are some recommendations for making him feel special:

* Flirt with him in public places
* Just once, leave the toilet lid up
* Lavish him with compliments
* Tell him how sexy he is
* Act jealous once in awhile, even if you are not
* Remind him that he is a wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies
* Tell him how handsome you find him

22. Make The Women Feel Good
Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These recommendations might help:

* Tell her how beautiful she is
* Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
* Just once, leave the toilet seat down
* Tell her how much she means to you
* Let her know that she is your best friend
* Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
* Let her know that you find her to be sexy

23. That Kiss
As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving, sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.

24. Be Kind To One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to "Do unto others…" Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person's situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.

25. Special Hobby
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture. Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night away. This is a great way to make your relationship even stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.

26. Listen - Really Listen
Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.

27. Be A Kid
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the Play Station, and play games.

28. All Decked Out
Although most people do not get dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will never forget.

29. Showing Love
Although hearing the words, "I love you" is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished:

* Rent his favorite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
* When she gets out of the shower, hand her a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
* When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, "I Love You" on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over.
* While she is out of town, wash her car and surprise her by picking her up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.
* Take him out to lunch.
* Have his favorite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper.
* Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
* Display your favorite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator.
* Buy her a subscription to her favorite magazine.

30. Split The Responsibility
Whether dating or married, weekends are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a special lunch or snacks. Perhaps one of you has company coming and the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really care by sacrificing your time.

Cool Relationship Tips - part two

2008-05-09T10:03:00.001+01:00

11. Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.

12. A Night Of Passion
Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.

13. Dinner Party
Start a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and inviting several of you and your mate's friends. Set up board games that everyone will enjoy, have some light and lively music playing, and plan to have a blast. Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to reduce stress. When stress is low, couples get along better. This is a wonderful way to interact with each other's friends as a couple.

14. Happy Birthday
As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated. Gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over. For your mate's next birthday, take some time to plan something very special. Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and appreciation. Every person, even adults, like attention and love to be appreciated. Whether a surprise party or not, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.

15. Secret Getaway
Plan a nice weekend getaway to some place off the beaten track where you can enjoy some privacy. A quaint cottage or charming bed and breakfast would be ideal choices. Scout out the area ahead of time and choose a few things that the two of you would like to do in the area but just be sure to leave plenty of time for you to enjoy some alone time. Order a nice bottle of wine or some hot cappuccino and relax in front of the fire! Make this a romantic weekend where you can rekindle your love.

16. Special Greeting
If your mate has to work late and you know he had a bad day, surprise him with a late-night gourmet meal. When you hear him arrive home, greet him in new, sexy lingerie, a warm kiss, and wonderful hot meal. After he picks himself up off the floor, he will fall in love with you all over again for this wonderful greeting. If reversed and the woman is coming home, after giving her a lingering kiss, have her join you in the dining room where the table is set with soft glowing candles and a wonderful meal. Have an envelope lying by her plate that when opened, she will read, "This certificate is good for one thirty-minute massage after dinner." This is how you keep romance alive!

17. Just Because
Give your mate gifts "just because." These do not have to be expensive whatsoever. For example, one woman had a miniature dish collection in her kitchen. Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her. Holding out her hand, he gently placed in her hand a miniature porcelain cup with her name neatly written in blue ink. She knew that this cup probably cost no more than $2.00 but the thought that he would take the time to find something she enjoyed, was worth $1 million. The small gifts packed with thought are far more cherished.

18. Say It With Words
Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places. If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase. Perhaps they have a long commute to work. If so, slip a note saying, "I love you," in their CD case where you know they will find it. Another recommendation is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing seen in the morning. Be creative and have some fun with this.

19. Cuddle Time
When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence. However, as the relationship progresses or after children enter the picture, the cuddling stops. Take some time just to cuddle. If your mate is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them that you just want to cuddle. This makes both people feel secure and loved.

20. Breakfast In Bed
When was the last time you or your mate were served breakfast in bed? Never? On a Saturday or Sunday, when nothing special is planned, get up a little early and fix their favorite breakfast. Include the morning newspaper as an added bonus. Although they may be shocked, you can be guaranteed that this gesture of love will be appreciated.

Cool Relationship Tips - part one

2008-05-09T09:59:00.003+01:00

1. Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, "You look beautiful," they might hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

2. Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.

3. The Power Of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!

4. Surprise
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, "I have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight's performance," or "I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert." The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch their heart!

5. Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is "singles" night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.

6. No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.

7. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, "Do you like your carrots?", or "I wonder what is on TV tonight?" Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Tell me what you did at work today." Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate's life.

8. Re-Establish Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.

9. Predictability
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, "I love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.

10. Lighten Up
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.

Number One First Date Tip: Safety

2008-05-09T09:58:00.001+01:00

The beginning stage of a relationship can be stressful. However, don’t let your anxiety about what to wear or say make you forget to plan for safety. When you are meeting someone for the first time, this needs to be a consideration. Even if you feel like you know this person because of Internet dating time together, taking some simple precautions is a good idea. Things such as driving separately, letting a friend know where you will be, and containing your first date activities to a public place are easy strategies you can employ.

Internet dating safety can be maintained with some simple planning. Once you’ve chatted online and spoken for quite some time on the phone, meeting in person is the next step. If you’ve determined you are ready to move to this level, exercise this first date advice:

· Drive separately to a public meeting place.

· Tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be home. Follow-up by checking in with your friend at a predetermined time and/or when you return home.

· Never leave the public place, go home with the person or invite your date to your home.

· Immediately end the date if you feel pressured in any way.

· Do not get drunk or tipsy. Drinking impairs judgment leading to choices you may not normally make.

How to Flirt

2008-05-09T09:57:00.000+01:00

Flirting isn't obvious. If you're up-front about your desire to date or have sex with someone, you're not flirting. In a flirtatious interaction, the excitement comes from the hint at a possibility.
For many people, the thrill of flirting is simply receiving attention. To get that attention, you have to give it. Use nonverbal signals -- eye contact, standing just a little closer than normal, facing the person when he or she is speaking. There's no one magic pick-up line. Rather, it's up to you to figure out what kind of conversation the other person might enjoy. "Wow, I like your shirt" is perfectly OK in the right context, and much better than a line that sounds rehearsed.
Next, wait for a response before sending the next signal. If the person backs away, frowns, folds arms or starts flirting with someone else, don't make things worse by following him/her around. You've got your answer.
Flirting can be a great way to figure out whether you should ask someone out. If one or both of you is married and flirting, keep things strictly G-rated. Words and looks are probably OK; touching is not. If you feel like you can't help yourself, then you're in too deep and need to spend less time with this person.

How to maintain independence in your relationship

2008-05-09T09:51:00.004+01:00

It's wonderful to lose yourself in your loved one but how healthy is it for your long-term plans to stay exclusive? Discover how to balance independence with involvement and make your relationship stronger

Why independence is a good thing

Be independent and you'll live a richer life. Why? Because you'll not always be thinking about your every move to make sure he's there to hold your hand. And by not always mentally editing your actions, thoughts and feelings to make sure he approves, you'll have more inner confidence too.

You'll also have a better relationship because no one wants a clingy, dependent mate. They want a partner with their own ideas, their own passions, their own life; someone who stays because they care, not because they're scared of being alone. The bottom line is that while too much is a bad sign, some interdependence is vital in love.

How to stay independent

Remember who you were
Don't drop the friends, hobbies or lifestyle you had at the start of the relationship in order to fit in with your man. If he doesn't share these, there's no need to abandon them; if they fulfill you, keep them in your life.

Be more self-reliant
Don't ask your man to do things you're unsure about, whether it be changing a plug, calling room service or challenging a stroppy waiter. Bite the bullet, and even if you fall flat the first time, it will reinforce your idea of yourself, and his idea of you, as an effective and independent woman.

Project yourself as independent
When with others, make an effort to say 'I' instead of 'we'. Offer your own point of view rather than letting him speak for both of you. Fix work and social arrangements without always checking back with him first.

Keep developing
Do things you find emotionally or physically challenging. Why not try bungee jumping, public speaking or even a fire walk? Building your confidence this way will reinforce the idea that you can cope even in a crisis, and that you don't need your partner to rescue you on a daily basis.

Take breaks
It's great to be together but 24/7 bonding creates dependence. At least twice a year, take a weekend away, either with friends or on your own, to gain a fresh view that you can share when you reunite.

Watch for deeper dependency signals
If you need constant reassurance, let him make every decision, feel your world would collapse if he left, then it's possible that your dependency may be rooted in childhood problems.

What if he wants you to cling?

Just sometimes, a partner may be so insecure in themselves that he or she actively wants a dependent mate because that makes them feel needed, important and in control. Try giving them security in other ways, by stressing how much you value and love them but insist on developing your own individuality. If you're always compromising yourself by being with a partner, you may have to make a difficult choice, and let him or her go.

Final hint

Start asserting your independence today by thinking of something you'd really like to do and suggest it to your partner. If he's up for it, you've taken the lead. If he's not keen, then give him a big smile and simply do it by yourself. But most importantly, have a great time!

25 tips for relationship success

2008-05-09T09:48:00.002+01:00

What's the key to successful relationships?

1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.

6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.

7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.

8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.

9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.

10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.

11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.

12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.

13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.

14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.

15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.

16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.

17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.

18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you.

19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.

20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward.

21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.

22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.

23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.

24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.

25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one.

The “Yes Factor”: How to Negotiate to Get What You Want Out of Life

2008-05-09T09:25:00.000+01:00

Expert’s Top 7 Tips for Leveraging Business Negotiation Skills as a Life Skill

Everything is fair game; whether you covet a new job, a raise, a business deal, a new car, some new bling, or need to rectify a problem with a loved one, the “art of negotiation” is your secret weapon to achieving the result you want. Indeed, among the greatest strengths of very successful business people is their ability to out negotiate with others to achieve their desired result.

Negotiating need not be back and forth, point-counterpoint banter. Rather, the most proficient negotiators manage these conversations in such a way that the other party likely does not even know they are engaged in a bargaining process. The bottom line is simple: if there is something you want that is in someone else’s control, knowing how to negotiate will stack the odds in your favor.

With this in mind, here are my top 7 tips on turning business negotiation skills into a life skill:

1. First and foremost, be prepared to walk away. This is single most important strategy to getting what you want out of life. If you aren’t prepared to say, “No” and mean it; then you are likely to end up settling for a lesser outcome. Before entering into the negotiation, know in advance exactly what you are and are not willing to concede, so that you do not need to process this information on-the-fly without adequate time to weigh the pros and cons of each.

2. Know when to forego all together. A good deal comes together quickly – a bad deal takes way too long. Take a clue from the amount of time it’s taking to get what you want and, if exceedingly long, don’t waste valuable time and effort with the misguided notion that “just one more” give or take will make the deal work. If you have to “force it,” chances are it will come back to bite you later on.

3. Deal at the right level. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to do a deal with an individual who can’t make the final decision. It’s like negotiating against yourself – you address an issue and try to come to a conclusion and then the other person takes that to someone else “behind the scenes” only to come back and say it can’t be done on those terms. It’s far more efficient and effective to find the right person to negotiate with directly, “(wo)mano y (wo)mano.” If you don’t know or if it’s not obvious if you’re dealing with the right person, directly ask up front if they have authority to make a final decision on the matter.

4. Due diligence to come prepared. The more information you have surrounding the circumstances of your endeavor, the “marketplace,” for example, the more likely you are to not only prevail, but also get the best deal possible. While you may actually prevail by shooting in the dark, not knowing the extent of the opportunity could result in your leaving a lot on the table. Whether it’s the average pay for a given job, the price typically paid for a product or a service, or who you are in competition with for a new position – knowledge is truly power.

5. Don’t take anything personally. To maintain objectivity, treat every negotiation as if you are doing a deal for someone else who has hired you as the professional “closer.” When you allow yourself to get emotionally involved, rational thought often goes by the wayside and you’re far more likely to concede to your later regret. Cool heads get the best, and most, out of what they are seeking.

6. Anticipate objections. Prior to the negotiation, brainstorm all the reasons or objections that may prevent you from getting what you want – and prepare a thoughtful counterpoint for each, one at a time. During a negotiation, people conjure all sorts of reasons why something can’t be done, many of which are often bogus. Until you know the valid sticking point, you are just spinning your wheels.

7. Don’t underestimate Karma. What goes around indeed comes around. The best deal is one where both parties walk away feeling positive about the result of the negotiation. The worst deal is that where one side leaves the table feeling slighted with the short end of the stick. If you’re the kind of person who “has” to win and is prepared to humiliate or otherwise make someone feel bad as a result, sooner or later the gain is likely to come back to haunt you. Accordingly, consider in advance what would satisfy the opposition and be prepared to pull those “cards out of your pocket” strategically during the course of discussion.

How to Handle Discrimination Tactfully During the Interview Process?

2008-05-09T09:23:00.001+01:00

On the job discrimination is more common than you might think, and you need to know how to handle discrimination when, not if, it becomes an issue in your workplace. This is a lot easier if you already have a job, but what if you feel that you are being discriminated during the interview process? It’s hard to prove that you’ve been discriminated against during the hiring process, but there are things you can do to address the situation.

The best way to prove discrimination is with a document or some other sort of documental proof. Evidence of a line of questioning or comments made during the interview can prove that you were discriminated against for a specific reason. Documented evidence is best but it can be hard to get since most interviews are performed orally.

The first thing you should do is speak to the interviewer that discriminated against you. If this doesn’t work, talk to someone who is a position above the person who interviewed you. You may even have to take your complaint all the way to the top. Ask for an investigation into your situation. Most companies have processes in place that outline exactly how to handle discrimination during the hiring process.

Just because companies have policies against discrimination doesn’t mean that they enforce them. In some instances, discrimination is firmly entrenched in the company. If this is the case, you may need to contact an attorney. There are numerous attorneys that practice discrimination law. They will be able to tell you what your options are and point you in the direction that you should go.

Be sure to do your homework. Talk to other applicants and employees to see if they have been treated similarly. If you can gather numerous witnesses, you will increase your odds of winning your case in a court of law. Again, an attorney can help you with this.

There are numerous reasons why people are discriminated against and you need to know how to handle discrimination when it arises. Discrimination against race, gender, religion, age and sexual orientation are among the most common. Remember; discrimination can come in many forms such as refusing to hire, unlawful termination, promotion avoidance and so on. Discrimination can be hard to prove, but proving these cases is vital when it comes to upholding employee rights.

Top 10 Most Wanted Careers

2008-05-09T09:22:00.000+01:00

Are you having difficulty deciding on a career to pursue? Are you still in the middle of choosing the right job? Want to be in a practical, yet emotionally fulfilling kind of work? Then this article is for you.

Below is a list of the Top 10 fastest growing jobs in the United States, as stated in the US Bureau of Labor Statistics. These jobs are expected to be the most wanted occupations by 2016. One of them might be your key to a successful career.

1. Network systems and data communications analysts

These are people in charge of managing network systems and data communication devices. They are wanted almost everywhere since the Internet has evolved from being just a trend into a desperate need.

2. Physician assistants

If you have dreams of becoming a doctor, then this is a good training ground for you.

3. Computer software engineers, applications

They take part in creating new technologies in the world of computer software applications.

4. Physical therapist assistants

Physical therapist assistants help physical therapists both in actual as well as administrative PT work. This is as well a good stepping stone if you want to be a licensed PT.

5. Dental hygienists

Dental hygienists focus on keeping your teeth and gums healthy through constant cleaning and polishing. They also come up with new techniques in promoting oral health care.

6. Forensic science technicians

Dreaming of becoming a real life CSI? Here’s your chance to do so!

7. Medical and health information assistants

They help out in providing health information as well as assist in providing your health needs.

8. Fitness and aerobics instructors

Fitness and aerobics instructors continue to be a need in various fitness centers, especially now that people are so obsessed with keeping their body in shape.

9. Veterinary technicians

Veterinary technicians are needed to provide quality health care to animals by performing medical tests for diagnosis and treatment. They are usually found in the fields of biomedical research, livestock management, and wildlife medicine.

10. Database administrators

They are responsible for managing database management systems in order to keep and extract important data in an understandable way. This job is expected to rise by almost 50 percent by 2016.

What Your Employer Will Never Tell You

2008-05-09T09:20:00.000+01:00

The number of employees with side jobs is on the rise because people just can’t make it on one paycheck. The only answer for many people is to run a business on the side or take a second, part time job. While many employers encourage employees to seek outside employment, others are worried that a second job will affect job performance. Some are even worried that an employee may take a position with a competitor or start up a competing business.

If you have thought about taking a part time job or opening your own business, you should pay attention to the following tips to side step problems with your employer.

Did you sign a contract when you started working for your current employer? Many companies require that new hires sign a non-compete contract. This contract basically says that you cannot work for or start a competing business within a certain mile radius of the company. Some contracts are even more limited. Be sure to read any contractual paperwork that you signed when you were hired before taking employment elsewhere.

If you do take a second job, you should never allow it to interfere with your current work. Do not perform second job functions while on the clock at your first job. Never answer or make phone calls, answer emails or perform job duties. If an emergency happens, take personal time or vacation time from your primary position to take care of it. Try not to make this routine though.

You should even avoid networking for side jobs while you’re on the clock. Granted, it can be tempting to speak up when an opportunity arises especially if you own your own business. Always try to down play your additional employment while clocked in. You can always go back later and talk about your other business.

If holding two jobs proves to be more than you can handle, you should seriously think about quitting your second job. If you cannot quit the second job due to financial commitments, there are other avenues that you can consider. Can you ask for a raise or find a new job that pays more? Is there anything that you can do to cut down your work schedule?

Side jobs of the entrepreneurial nature are especially difficult to juggle. Prioritize and be ready to negotiate with your current employer when your business takes off. It takes effort to keep things balanced, but it can be done if you prioritize and put your bread and butter job first.

Eliminate the F-Words

2008-05-09T09:18:00.002+01:00

If you want to get ahead in your career, you have to stop using four–letter words that begin with the letter ‘F’.

No, I’m not talking about cleaning your mouth out with soap. Of course, cursing your boss is probably not going to get you very far. But the F–words I share with you here are far more lethal, more destructive and more devastating to your career and professional fulfillment.

The ugliest four–letter words that begin with ‘F’ can hold you back if you don’t keep them in check. The words?

F _ _ R
F A _ _
F _ N _

Have you guessed them?

The key to career success is to get the F–words out of your vocabulary, mindset and actions. Here’s how.

Fear

“Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.”
–Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Sometimes fear is good. If you are walking alone down a dark alley at night, fear will keep you alert. However, in the workplace, fear is often less productive.

I work with lots of clients, many at the C–level, most of whom can become paralyzed or at least ‘slowed down’ by fear from time to time. And once they are able to look at the situation that prompted the fear from a different lens, they open up to new opportunities.

In your job search, fear can prevent you from making a networking connection or asking a high–profile colleague for help. It can impact an interview with a prospective hiring manager or stop you from applying for a position that you would really like to have. Fear impedes success; and fear breeds more fear. So the more you fear, the worse the fear becomes.

Replace the word ‘fear’ with ‘greet’. Greet challenges rather than being afraid of them. After all, a challenge is really an opportunity to shine and to grow and demonstrate your greatness. If you hope for the best rather than fear the worst as you search for your next job, you’ll be far more successful, and you’ll enjoy the process.

Fail

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
–Sir Winston Churchill

If you never fail, you aren’t taking enough risks. And without risk, you don’t grow or stretch yourself. Without growth, you stagnate, while those around you move ahead. Failing, if you look at it from a different perspective, is really a step in succeeding. So replace the word ‘fail’ with ‘grow’.

Often, it is fear of failure that prevents action.

In your job search, failing can be valuable. When you get down to the shortlist of candidates but are not selected, you can learn a lot that will be useful to your next hiring opportunity – perhaps for an even better position. If you chose not to risk failure, you risk growth.

Highlighting your failures during a job interview can be just as powerful. Let a prospective manager know that you are motivated to take calculated risks, and willing to fail if it means learning, growing professionally, and moving forward. Take inventory of events that you classified as failures and look for the growth that came from that. That growth is valuable content for your resume, cover letter, and personal web site.

Fine

“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.”
–Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I think fine is the ugliest of all four–letter words. No one gets excited about things that are fine.

“Hey Chris, how’s the new guy in sales doing?”

“Oh, he’s fine.”

Fine, adequate, average, OK. Do you want your work or candidature to be described with these words?

Yet, you were trained from a young age to become fine. In fact, your full–time job has probably involved resolving weaknesses instead of maximizing strengths. Sure, I think it’s great to improve your weaknesses – but not at the expense of maximizing your strengths, and only if those weaknesses will get in the way of your success. When you apply your strengths to everything you do, you raise yourself far above ‘fine.’ You become great, excellent, exceptional, extraordinary. And that’s how you want to be known. Isn’t it?

When you stop being fine and focus on your greatness, people will use superlatives to describe you. You start to build your personal brand around those things that make you differentiated and interesting.

Replace the word ‘fine’ with ‘great’ and strive for greatness by leveraging strengths rather than improving weaknesses. Never settle for adequate.

If your resume or online identity is fine, work with a career coach to make it great. And if you interviewing skills are ‘fine’ practice interviewing until they are stellar. After all, with so many candidates for each open position, it isn’t likely that the hiring manager will be satisfied with fine.

Eliminate the F–Words

To eliminate these words, practice makes perfect. And the key to eliminating them is to first recognize when they are part of your vocabulary and your actions. So it’s up to you. “Fear, fail, fine” or “greet, grow, great”. Decide which words will be a part of your vocabulary and approach to your job search, and then make decisions accordingly.

Be great!

The Right Approach To Job Interviews

2008-05-09T09:18:00.001+01:00

Do as much research as you possibly can and learn as much as you can about the company, its structure, its policies, and its ethics. This will help when you face the interview panel. Preparing for the interview is the difference between getting the job and being rejected. Prepare wisely and approach the interview in the right manner.

Interview Tips

There are some simple yet effective tips that will help you crack that important interview.

• Punctuality - there is nothing worse than being late for an interview and making the interview panel wait for you. Your tardiness or your lack of punctuality shows that you have no respect for people’s time. Avoid this mistake at all costs. Make sure you know all the details of your interview well in advance and can prepare for it. Know the venue and get directions to it. An excuse like you got lost just does not hold. Come early for the interview. Give yourself plenty of time for traffic jams and other emergencies that can come up. Arriving early for the interview gives you time to familiarize yourself with the organization.

• Dress formally - what you wear is important to your image in a job interview. You want to come across as serious, business-like and intelligent. Dressing up casually is not acceptable in most organizations. Do not come to work with glitzy accessories or over-the-top make-up. The impression you want to give to the interview panel is that of a no-nonsense and efficient person.

• Prepare yourself - it always helps to be prepared before you go for an interview. Know about the company, its products, its structure, its policies, and other relevant information. Be sure to do your research before you go.

• Be calm and composed - interviews are stressful and scary but you have to remember to be calm and keep your cool at all times. Nothing is going to be achieved by you stressing out about the interview except make you more nervous and jittery. It is essential that you be composed and positive.

• Thank the right people - remember to thank the board, panel, or whoever has taken your interview. They have given up precious time to interview you and that deserves a word of thanks irrespective of whether or not you get the job.

Interviews are all about first impressions. The minute you enter that interview room to the minute you leave, you are being judged. Make the most of that time and try to convince the interviewer that you are the perfect person for that job and there is no need to look further.

There are certain things you should never do on a job interview. The most important of them all is to sit and let the interviewer ask all the questions. This gives the impression that you know nothing about the company and would not want anything clarified. Asking questions during an interview is as important as answering the ones being asked.

Remember that there are no right answers to cracking that interview. It is all about how you deal with it. Keep a positive attitude throughout the entire process, be professional, dress nicely, stay punctual, and always be curious about the company - while still demonstrating that you are knowledgeable about the company.

Plan Ahead for Job Interview Questions

2008-05-09T09:17:00.001+01:00

One of the most important things you should do when preparing for a job interview is spend some time thinking about the questions you’re likely to be asked and how you are going to answer them. It’s a good idea to figure out the best way to respond to typical general job interview questions. Beyond that, it’s also important to think about questions you might be asked specific to the job in question. For example, if you’re applying to work at a weight loss clinic, you might be asked diet specific questions. If you have this type of interview coming up, you might need to brush up on the list of best diet pills and popular exercise programs. You’ll greatly improve your chances of getting the job if you’re ready and able to answer relevant questions.

How to Avoid Just Being a Gofer and Rise to the Top

2008-05-09T09:12:00.002+01:00

While most of us love the things that money can buy, it's not easy to manage the stuff, much less make a career out of it. Those up for the challenge, however, will find that a finance career can be incredibly lucrative and exciting.

Unfortunately, it's also very competitive, and, especially at the beginning, it can be easy to find yourself simply fetching coffee and crunching numbers. In order to avoid spending years as a thankless gofer and get into that corner office and pinstripe power suit, you will need to make a few strategic moves.

Make Some Key Decisions

When embarking on your career path, it's crucial to choose a direction. Finance careers can lead any number of places, so before diving in, research a variety of types of jobs and think about what aspect of the industry most appeals to you. Some of the major subfields of finance include corporate finance, financial planning, investment banking, private equity, investment management, commercial lending, and sales and trading. Having a sense of where you want to go will allow you to choose what kind of work and knowledge to pursue. This foresight and direction will help you develop targeted skills and thus create a niche for yourself in the fast-paced and widespread finance industry. Additionally, actively pursuing a specific career goal will let your superiors see that you have a heightened level of dedication and motivation

Start with a Finance Education...and Keep it Up

Given the complexity of financial processes and instruments, the government's frequently changing regulation of the finance industry, and emerging worldwide markets, education is absolutely essential for a finance career. While, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a bachelor's in business from an accredited school is a minimum requirement for the field, success in the finance world is easiest to be had with a specific finance degree. While many people work their way up from the entry level job they attained with only a bachelor's, many top finance professionals got a head start in the field by earning an MBA.

To get a real rocket boost up the corporate ladder and out of the copy room, you'll need to continue educating yourself. Specialists who keep up on the latest laws and methods through journals, conferences and professional organizations have a clear leg up when it comes to getting a big promotion.

Meeting People, Making Connections

While the cliché may claim that in Hollywood "it's not what you know, but who you know," in finance it's both. Employers want to know both who you are and what you can do, and they're not likely to rely solely on your resume for that information. Networking will not only allow you to meet people in the field and learn more about finance in general, but it will also help you create the invaluable personal connections that often drive vertical career movement.

Deliver a Presentation like a PRO

2008-05-09T09:09:00.000+01:00

When Apple CEO Steve Jobs kicked off Macworld 2008, he once again raised the bar for presenters everywhere. While most deliver information, Jobs inspires the audience. After analyzing his latest presentation, I’ve extracted the 10 most motivating elements to incite listeners.

1. Set the tone. “There is something in the air today,” Jobs projected to the crowd to open the Macworld conference. By doing so, he set the tone for his presentation and hinted at the key product announcement–the ultrathin MacBook Air laptop. While every presentation needs an angle, it doesn’t have to be unveiled right away. Last year, Jobs waited until the 20–minute mark. When the time was right, he noted, “Today Apple reinvents the phone.” Once you identify your angle, make sure to weave it throughout your presentation.

2. Demonstrate enthusiasm. It’s impossible to deny Jobs’ passion for computer design. Next time you’re crafting or delivering a presentation, think about infusing it with your personality. Most speakers get into presentation mode and feel as though they have to strip the talk of any character. Remember, your audience wants to be wowed, not put to sleep. The audience will follow your lead. So set an enthusiastic example.

3. Provide an outline. Jobs set expectations by noting, “There are four things I want to talk about today. So let’s get started…” Verbally opening and closing each of the four sections helped to make clear transitions between talking points. For example, after revealing several new iPhone features, he said, “That [the iPhone] was the second thing I wanted to talk about today. Number three is about iTunes.” Make lists and provide your audience with guideposts along the way.

4. Make numbers meaningful. When Jobs announced that Apple had sold 4 million iPhones to date, he provided context for the figure. “That’s 20,000 iPhones every day, on average,” Jobs explained, “What does that mean to the overall market?” Numbers don’t mean much unless they are placed in perspective. Connect the dots for your listeners.

5. Try for an unforgettable moment. This is the moment in your presentation that everyone will be talking about. Every Steve Jobs presentation builds up to one big scene. In this year’s Macworld keynote, it was the announcement of MacBook Air. To demonstrate just how thin it is, Jobs said it would fit in an envelope. Jobs drew cheers by opening a manila interoffice envelope and holding the laptop for everyone to see. What is the one memorable moment of your presentation? Identify it ahead of time and build up to it.

6. Create visual slides. While most speakers fill their slides with data, text, and charts, great presenters do the opposite. There is very little text on a Steve Jobs slide. Most of the slides present one idea for the audience to walk away with. This is further supported by see–and–say syncing. For example, when outlining, “The first thing I want to talk to you about today,” was accompanied by a slide with the numeral I. When he discussed a specific product like the iPhone, the audience saw a slide with an image of the product. Inspiring presenters are short on bullet points and big on graphics.

7. Give ’em a show. A Jobs presentation has ebbs and flows, themes and transitions. Including video clips, demonstrations, and guests creates the feeling that the presentation is more of a show than a lecture. Enhance your presentations by incorporating multimedia, product demonstrations, or giving others the chance to say a few words.

8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Despite your best preparation, something might go wrong as it did during the Apple CEO’s keynote. Upon attempting to show a few photographs from a live Web site, the screen went black. Jobs smiled and said, “Well, I guess Flickr isn’t serving up the photos today.” By moving forward and recapping the new features he just introduced, it was no big deal. Don’t sweat minor mishaps. Have fun.

9. Sell the benefit. While most presenters promote product features, Jobs sells benefits. When introducing iTunes movie rentals, Jobs said, “We’ve never offered a rental model in music because people want to own their music. You listen to your favorite song thousands of times in your life. But most of us watch movies once, maybe a few times. And renting is a great way to do it. It’s less expensive, doesn’t take up space on our hard drive…” Your listeners are always asking themselves, “What’s in it for me?” Answer the question. Don’t make them guess. Clearly state the benefit of every service, feature, or product.

10. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Steve Jobs cannot pull off an intricate presentation with video clips, demonstrations, and outside speakers without hours of rehearsal. Jobs rehearses the entire presentation aloud for many hours. You can see he rehearsed the Macworld presentation because his words were often perfectly synchronized with the images and text on the slides. A Steve Jobs presentation looks effortless because it is well–rehearsed.

Use this 10–part framework to wow your audiences. Many observers claim Steve Jobs has charisma. True. But he works at it. Nothing in his presentations is taken for granted. He studies the art of telling a story to inspire his audience. You must do the same to electrify your listeners.

Create Opportunities During the Most Ordinary Days

2008-05-09T09:06:00.001+01:00

This article illustrates the opportunity you have to help your organization become more successful by adding value to your customers.

There’s More Than One Way To Score

Fortunately, it’s much easier to go to the ball in business than it is in soccer. In a soccer game, there is only one ball and there are 14 to 22 players trying to kick it. In business, there are countless opportunities to add value no matter how many competitors are on the field.

Create Value–Added Opportunities

Take out a sheet of paper. On the front side, write down the three most important measures your organization wants to improve this year. Space each line out so you have plenty of room to write after each one. On the back side, write down the three most important measures your customers would like improved. Space these out as well so you have plenty of room to write.

On the front side, after each improvement, write down bullet–point ideas on what you can do to achieve your ideal result. Then, do the same for each of the desired customer measures on the back.

Examples of Creating Value Where Opportunities Seem Hidden

The key to being seen as a play–maker in business is to consistently create value for your organization and customers when it is not at all obvious as to where the opportunities to add value lie.

Here is what the front side might look like:

Increase sales with current customers.

Talk to ten customers this week. Ask, “What value do you feel you received from your purchase?”
Look for common denominators in the answers. Then brainstorm for other products and services that can reinforce that value.
Ask three other people to join in the brainstorming session, particularly people from product development, marketing, and operations.
Give credit for any new product ideas to other people.
Volunteer to oversee a team committed to creating a new prototype product that can add increased value to current customers.

Generate sales with new customers.

Write a white paper for internal purposes on leveraging the lessons learned from current customers called, “Leveraging Customer Insights: How Happy Customers are the Eyes to New Customers.”
Volunteer to market our company’s products to a small number of people in a new demographic.

Reduce operating costs for current customers.

Look at the entire flow of creating and selling a specific product to a given customer, and identify the cost to the company at each point in the process.
Look for overlap in the process for various products.
Identify where costs are being repeated that could be reduced by timing the overlap of the activities for different products to coincide at the same time.

Here is what the back side might look like:

Close the gap between a customer’s expected time of receiving a product and the actual time of delivery.

Ask ten customers when they expected to receive a specific product and when they actually received it.
Let the sales department and the operations department know about the gap from expected delivery to actual delivery.
Ask for ways to reduce this gap. Offer the suggestion of adding 15% more time to any estimate to keep customer expectations realistic.

Reduce the overall cost of the buying experience for the customer.

Follow one entire sales process from the time a customer thought about buying a certain type of product to the time they actually bought and used the product. Keep track of both dollars and hours invested by the customer in this process. Do this for ten customers.
Share your research with members of the marketing, sales, and operations teams. Facilitate a discussion on how the process could become less expensive and less time–consuming for the customer.
Volunteer to test new ideas for a handful of customers to see what the real–life experience of the new process would be like for them.

Have customers appreciate the marketing they receive from our organization.

Ask ten customers what they appreciated and what they did not appreciate about the marketing they received on a specific product.
Ask customers for specific examples of marketing they have received from other companies that they have enjoyed the most.
Share these customer insights with members of the marketing team. Ask for their input on what could be done to improve the customer experience with the marketing they received.

Finding Hidden Value is Like Searching For Gold

Just as with the successful gold diggers in the 1890’s, digging for hidden value requires perseverance, courage, creativity, and communication skills. It takes courage to do something off the beaten path like conversing with customers and presenting insights to other members of your organization. It takes tact and sincerity to get other people involved in meaningful conversations without them feeling that you are acting in your own best interests.

Having said all of that, it is far easier to find gold via adding value for your organization and customers than it was for people to find real gold by sifting through sand.

“Go to the Ball”

Don’t wait for your boss or another employee to show you how to add more value to your organization and your customers. Step back, clarify the measures your organization and your customers want improved, identify ways to add value, and then go after those opportunities. And then please meet with my six–year–old soccer players to help them “go to the ball.”

Seven Questions to Help You Reach Your Goals

2008-05-09T09:03:00.000+01:00

Have you ever taken yourself through the ‘how–tos’ and ‘whys’ behind each of your goals? So often people set themselves up for failure by not considering everything it takes to achieve a challenging goal. Next time you set your ambitions high, think about answers to each of the following questions. They are designed to help you focus on your goal and gain insight on how it will impact different aspects your life.

What is My Goal?

This is (obviously) the thing you want to achieve. It needs to be tangible and focused – and ideally have a deadline. Quantify what you want and by what date. Goals like ‘lose weight’ don’t have as much impact on your behavior as ‘lose 10 pounds in six weeks.’

What Does this Mean?

Really, this is a follow–up to the first question; it ensures you have described your goal as accurately as possible. The more you can describe the achievement, the better your chance of reaching it. For example, a precise target like ‘land an IT programming position with a Fortune 100 company which allows me to work from home by August’ is a very detailed picture of what you want to achieve.

Why is it Important to Me?

Sometimes we set goals that we think should be important, but ultimately they are not that meaningful to us. Laying out why you want to reach a goal will give it significance in your mind and will help you figure out if you are pursuing this goal for your benefit or someone else’s.

How Will Things Change When I Accomplish My Goal?

Answering this question will help you visualize the impact that achieving your goal will have on your life. Perhaps your objective is to land a marketing position with a major food retailer at a salary increase of $15k. Things that might change when you reach that goal are your ability to pay off your student loan within two years or to put an additional $500 monthly toward retirement/investments.

What Does it Take to Reach My Goal?

This is the tough question – answers might be lengthy and include several action items. However, do not get discouraged! Addressing this question will put the requirements to reaching your goal in perspective. In addition, there might be other factors that you need to consider. Will you need to hire a professional coach? Pay for classes? Travel? Purchase books and other resources? Let this question help you lay out your step–by–step plan.

How Much Time Can I Put Towards Accomplishing My Goal?

Here is where reality sets in. Often people set a goal that takes a tremendous amount of time commitment without considering the demands from the rest of their life. For example, is it realistic for you to train for a marathon the same year that you are pursuing a Master’s degree and juggling a brand new baby at home? Set up a chart reflecting a typical week’s commitments (including weekends). Be sure to factor in time for your commute, sleeping hours, Timmy’s little league games, date night with your spouse, and anything else that commands your attention. From there, look at the hours you have free to dedicate to your goal and plan your time accordingly.

Who Will Help Me Reach My Goal?

Do you know someone that has ‘been there, done that’? Now is the time to leverage your network connections and call on them to ask for help with your goals. Perhaps one person will know just the right coach you can work with and another friend can put you in touch with a company looking for someone with your skill set. Addressing this question has a dual purpose –the more people that know about your ambitions, the more often you will be asked about your progress. Often, that is just the right amount of positive pressure you need to stay on track with your goals.

Dedicating time to each of these questions is not meant to deter you, but rather to help you see your target from all sides. By spending time on this exercise with each of your goals, you will be better prepared to tackle any obstacles that present themselves along the way. Good luck!

How to Deal with the Daily Drama of Economic Trends

2008-05-09T09:02:00.000+01:00

What is an Economic Trend?

You probably have a more technical definition of an economic trend than I do, but here’s mine. An economic trend is a bunch of dots. If you took all of the economic performances of all of the businesses around the world on a given day and averaged them into a single dot, then you would have the beginning of a trend. If you did that every day for several weeks, months, and years, then you would have a bunch of dots. You could then draw a best–fit curve that represents the flow of the dots. At that point you could say, “We’re heading into a recession,” or “We’re in a recession.” You could then use either of those statements to justify slowing down spending to save capital and to stop investing in creating innovative ways to add more value to customers.

I suggest you don’t do that.

The Importance of Perseverance and Perspective

The more important factor in determining your long–term success as a business is not how the dots are trending, but rather your willingness and the willingness of the people in your business to persevere and sustain your focus. Especially on creating value for your customers and prospective customers. I’ll talk more about perseverance in a moment.

The current economic trend needs to be kept in perspective. Nine weeks ago I spoke to a group of business owners at the Ritz–Carlton in Naples, Florida. We discussed the psychology of the economy. As I was talking about the impact of the recession, I almost started giggling. Here I was standing at a beautiful hotel in a beautiful city talking about a recession with a group of folks who were going to play golf that afternoon on a beautiful course.

This recession is not The Great Depression. My parents were born in 1928 and 1929. They literally grew up in The Great Depression. My grandfathers literally worked their butts off to get any money to put food on the table.

We’re still living in some of the very best economic times in the history of the world. They may not be as amazing as they were three years ago, but they are still pretty spectacular. In the U.S., we all got a little too caught up in the housing boom and now we’re paying for it. Just like when we got a little too caught up in the dot–com boom of 1999 and the gold rush boom of 1890. When we start thinking irrationally and assume we’ve found the secret to easy wealth, we do some pretty silly things and then we pay for it. But we’re going to be okay. That is, we’re going to be okay if we don’t talk ourselves out of future successes.

The Role of the Media

The media’s job is to search for and deliver information and stories. In sports, information is that the St. Louis Cardinals beat the Houston Astros. Information is not very exciting. What makes money for the media is the story that is crafted from the information. So now the media reporter has to find a compelling story to keep the interest of the viewer or reader. Consequently, we might read that Tony Larussa, the manager of the Cardinals, made a brilliant decision to bat the pitcher eighth in the lineup and it turned out to be the pivotal move in the game. (And if the Cardinals lost, the story would have been what a bonehead manager Larussa is for batting the pitcher eighth.)

The economy has replaced Iraq as the lead story in most of the media that I read and watch. And since there are a lot more media outlets than there were 15 years ago, the need for more compelling stories for the media to tell is overwhelming. As a result, we get bombarded every day with bad economic news.

Here’s my advice: don’t let the media talk you out of what you are capable of achieving.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

That’s one of my favorite quotes and it’s from Franklin Roosevelt. He said that during The Great Depression. Recently, I thought about that quote in more depth. What is “fear itself”? “Fear itself” refers to the psychologically debilitating perspective that things are really bad and they are only going to get worse no matter what I do.

In other words, the only thing we have to be afraid of is the possibility that a critical mass of people could feel that no matter what they do the economy is never going to get better. If that happens, then we could be in real trouble. That’s called “fatalism.” When people feel they have no control over their future, they stop investing in developing themselves and their employees. They stop trying to innovate and create more value for other people. They just say to themselves, “Whatever is going to happen is outside of my control so I’m going to roll up in a little ball and try not to get hurt.” If that happens, we’re in a world of hurt.

My nine year–old daughter, Sarah, had a sleepover with five of her girlfriends for her birthday. Around 11:30 PM, Sarah came upstairs to our bedroom and said to Barb and I, “We hear keys shaking downstairs and it’s getting louder and louder.” She looked worried. So we came downstairs and looked around. After looking for burglars, we finally discovered that the noise was the zippers on the sleeping bags and the noise was getting louder the more the girls shook around. All they really had to fear was the fear they had of the noise.

The Sources of Perseverance

What are the sources of perseverance? I think there are two factors: confidence and enthusiasm.

Confidence

Confidence is the degree to which you believe you’re going to succeed in an upcoming situation. The more you believe you are going to succeed in an upcoming situation, the more likely you are to persevere.

Over the past 20 years I’ve read on average 30 books a year or approximately 600 books in all. I’ve learned so much from these wonderful books. However, on the topic of confidence, the business literature is pretty pathetic.

80% of the books never mention confidence as a factor in generating long–term success. 10% make fun of the topic and say that “confidence” is a soft skill. 5% say that to develop self–confidence you should pound on your chest and repeat aphorisms like, “I am great.” These aphorisms do not increase your belief that you will succeed in an upcoming situation. All that happens is you get a really sore chest. 4% say that self–confidence is a very important factor in long–term success, which isn’t very helpful because we already knew that. Then about 1% of the books actually talk about how to strengthen self–confidence, which is the piece that is really useful.

Strengthening self–confidence is a two–step process: review past successes and preview future successes.

Recall a time in your life when you overcame the odds and did something that you or somebody else didn't think you could do. It could be at any age level. What was your goal, what were the obstacles, how did you persevere, and what did it feel like when you won? What lessons did you learn from that experience that you could use in your current situation? Don’t just think about this exercise, actually do it. Write down your answers. Reading what I wrote will have no impact on your confidence going forward. You actually have to stop and recall one of your past success stories. Share the story with another person. Self–confidence is built on previous successes, but you have to pause long enough to actually recall those stories.

Then to tighten up your confidence, focus on a future success. Answer these questions: what do I want to achieve, why do I want to achieve it, and why do I expect to achieve it? Write your answers down. Don’t just think about the exercise.

Enthusiasm

I learned a lot from Dale Carnegie, both from his books and his classes. However, I disagree with him on one thing. He said, “To be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic.” I think if you act enthusiastic when you’re really not you will come across as a fake. People will doubt your sincerity.

I think developing true enthusiasm is a two–step process:

First, clarify the purpose of why you do what you do for a living. What is your purpose beyond the paycheck?

Second, focus everyday on fulfilling that purpose.

I’ve been asked many, many times over the past 23 years how I maintain my enthusiasm. The truth is I have a clear purpose. My purpose is to work with people so they achieve great performances. That was my purpose when I was a college soccer coach, when I was a high school math teacher, when I worked with someone as an executive coach, when I gave a keynote or a seminar, and when I wrote an article or a book. And it’s still my purpose today. I’m writing this article with enthusiasm because I’m focused on my purpose. I want you to achieve an extraordinary performance in whatever you do for a living.

Stay Focused on Your Approach

When Trevor Immelman won the Masters Golf Tournament a few weeks ago, he said that during the final round on Sunday he never looked at the leader board until he was standing on the 18th green. He said he didn’t want the results of the other golfers to affect his approach for each shot. He knew he was in the lead going in to the final round, and he had already decided on his approach to each of the holes. He maintained his focus all the way to the end.

As you look to the remaining months in 2008, decide on the approach you are going to take to deliver value to customers and then stay focused on delivering that value regardless of the results of other people around you.

Maintain a Historical Perspective

I spoke at an international sales conference last week in Nashville, and had lunch with a person from Australia. I was whining about $4 per gallon gas prices, and he woke me up. He said, “Four dollars is cheap. In Australia, it’s more like seven dollars.” Then he really hit home. A six–pack of beer in the U.S. that is $5 costs $16 in Australia.

During my seminars, I usually ask folks to turn off their cell phones. One day a man took a call and stood up. He gathered his papers to walk out. I thought, “My gosh, can’t these folks get away from work for a few hours to concentrate on their own effectiveness.” Then he said to the group, “My wife is very sick and she’s in the hospital. I have to go be with her.” Wham. Instant perspective. No matter how serious the economic trends become they are not as serious as life or death.

In order to deal with the daily drama of economic trends, maintain your perspective and continue to persevere.

Women and acne

2008-05-09T09:00:00.001+01:00

Acne is a disorder that causes outbreaks of skin lesions commonly called pimples. It is caused by the skins oil glands making too much sebum, an oily substance, which leads to plugged pores. It also can be caused by the rapid production of a bacteria P. acnes.

Acne lesions occur mostly on the face, neck, back, chest, and shoulders. It is the most common skin disease. Although acne is not a serious health threat, severe acne can lead to disfiguring and permanent scarring.

How does acne affect women?
Most young women and men will have at least a few pimples over the course of their lives. But acne seems to affect men and women in different ways. Young men are more likely to have a more serious form of acne. Acne in young women tends to be more random and linked to hormone changes, such as the menstrual cycle.

As women get older, acne often gets better. But some women have acne for many years. Some women even get acne for the first time at age 30 or 40.

For many women, acne can be an upsetting illness. Women may have feelings of depression, poor body image, or low self-esteem. But you don’t have to wait to outgrow acne or to let it run its course. Today, almost every case of acne can be resolved. Acne also can, sometimes, be prevented. Talk with your doctor or dermatologist (a doctor who specializes in treating skin problems) about how you can help prevent acne and if treatment would help you.

Top five steps to curing your acne problems

2008-05-09T08:59:00.001+01:00

Acne cures are few and far between. Most of the time trying to get rid of your acne is mostly a matter of taking care of your hormones and cleaning up your body. Really what else can there be? Here are five steps that should help you get rid of your acne.

1. Drink plenty of water- OK I start with water because water is the first and easiest way to improve most peoples health. As we know, our environment is full of toxins that we eat, breathe and drink and just like our dishes we can start to clean our bodies and skin from the inside out by drinking water to hydrate and clean the dermis of our skin.

2. Clean up your diet You have probably heard many times now that diet has nothing to do with your acne that is crap Think about what you eat and see if you are really taking good enough care of your body by eating the right foods like plenty of fiber, fruit and green leafy vegetables. Fruit is very high in antioxidants which are good for battling free radicals that are constantly making us sicker and green leafy vegetables are high in the minerals that most western diets are very low in. Maybe your diet does not really cause the acne but it can certainly help prevent it. Oh, and one more thing, is the junk food that you are eating really helping your skin or hurting it? I will let you figure out this one.

3. Reduce stress When I was younger and visiting a dermatologist on a regular basis I found that my skin could break out from almost any stress. I actually remember one of my worst acne flareups happening on the very day that I had to do a presentation in front of my high school class. Stress is impossible to get out of our lives but the fact is that if you can manage it then stress will not be as much of a factor as it is now. Most stress is caused by us not being prepared for a situation. A job interview or a test can easily be prepared for if it is a priority. No time to prepare for things can also easily be counteracted by using better time management skills and being sure that you plan things ahead of time instead of waiting until the last minute. This planning will not only cure your acne but will help you become more successful in life.

4. Take care of your skin Well this is a critical part of your plan. Taking care of your skin means that you do not try to beat your acne into submission but instead means that you are very good at treating your skin well so that it can fight off the acne by itself. There are three important parts to treating your skin well. Firstly, make sure that you use a very mild soap, do not use harsh soaps as they are going to hurt your skins ability to repair itself, I recommend hibitane or a glycerin soap. Secondly, try to clean your skin two or three times a day even if one of these times is only cleaning with water as you want to keep your pores clean and free of bacteria or oils remember that some oil is good as it lubricates your skin and stops it from drying out. Thirdly, moisturize with a good quality moisturizer that is mostly water based and not oil based. Do not use this moisturizer always but as your skin gets dry in the spring or summer it is important not to let your skin get burnt by the sun or dry from the wind so be careful to keep your moisture there.

5. Have a fast fast Fasting is not just for hippies trying to keep a clean colon but instead take time out every now and again for a quick two or three day fast that will clean out your insides and rebalance the electolytes in your system. Some people say that a fast is good as well to let your system rest but I am not sure if that is really normal or even possible. The best kind of fast to help cure your acne would be a fruit juice fast and there are many of them on the market. Make sure that you do your research first and maybe even go to a couple of health food stores to get as much info as you can but try as soon as possible to do this. Many people believe that a fast is the one best thing that you can do to get rid of your acne so do not let a little bit of starvation get in the way of better health.

Facial skin care to treat acne

2008-05-09T08:58:00.000+01:00

Facial skin care is not necessarily the first thing on the mind of a typical teenager. Yet the unexpected appearance of acne on a formerly clear complexion generally triggers intense interest in proper cleaning methods. Oily complexion, pimples, zits, and blackheads are all sadly, hallmarks of adolescence. While teens may be excited that their bodies are transforming in ways that

Children taking splashy, bubbly daily baths are thinking more of fun than cleanliness. As these children mature into adulthood, they must begin to master new personal hygiene cleaning habits and learn to follow them religiously. Doctors generally recommend washing oily complexions twice daily. Regardless of the severity of the condition, washing should always be quite gentle. Surprisingly, it is possible to be too compulsive about the breakouts on the face, washing one’s face too often or scrubbing excessively roughly. Rather than facilitating healing, this can literally make the problem worse.

Many over-the-counter products at supermarkets or pharmacies can help broken-out body surfaces to mend. Salicylic acid, benzoil peroxide, and even sulfur are ingredients that are capable of killing bacteria that grow in obstructed, oily pores. Different companies incorporate differing percentages of active ingredients in their products. For facial skin care cleaning the minimum formulation that is effective is the one to choose.

Adolescent girls often start to use cosmetics during puberty. It is very important only to use products that have been specified non-comedogenic. This designation means that the ingredients will not clog or block pores. This helps prevent new pimples or blackheads from forming on the body surface. Complexion cleanliness is about prevention as much as it is about management.

Although acne is a physical change, it can adversely affect a young person’s emotional outlook. Teens should be able to take part in school and other activities without the embarrassment of oily complexion and spots. If medicines and cleansers acquired from the local drugstore are ineffective, a physician or dermatologist should be consulted for treatment that is more comprehensive.

Teaching about proper skin cleansing is one way parents and teachers can provide empathy and guidance to teenagers when they obsess about their acne. Appropriate cleaning of the body surface practices will help turn a crisis into a temporary problem. Teens need direction as well as reassurance that facial skin care can be kept under control or even healed with proper washing, effective medication, and most of all, time.

Acne Treatment Tips

2008-05-09T08:57:00.000+01:00

Good skin care plays an important role in treating acne. Following these skin care guidelines unless your dermatologist instructs otherwise can help improve treatment results:

1. Do NOT pop, squeeze or pick at acne.
This can make acne worse by spreading inflammation. With medical treatment, removing lesions is rarely necessary; however, when comedo removal is needed, it should be performed by an experienced healthcare professional.

2. Gently wash your face twice a day with a mild cleanser and pat dry.
Acne is not caused by poor hygiene, and vigorous washing and scrubbing will not clear your skin. In fact, all that scrubbing can irritate your skin and make acne worse. The way to clear acne is with appropriate acne products and good skin care.

3. Use noncomedogenic (does not clog pores) cosmetics and toiletries.
When buying cosmetics and other products that you will use on your skin or hair, be sure to look for ones labeled noncomedogenic. Makeup, sunscreen and toiletries that are not likely to cause acne state that they are noncomedogenic on the product.

4. Avoid aggravating your acne.
Oily hair, sporting equipment that rubs against your skin and airborne grease all can irritate and make your acne worse. Ways you can avoid these situations include:

* If you have oily hair, keep it off your face and wash it daily.
* Avoid using hair care products that contain oil, such as pomades and gels.
* Wear cotton clothing or moleskin under sporting equipment to avoid skin-to-equipment contact.

5. Give acne products enough time to do their job.
Ask a dermatologist (or pharmacist) how much time is needed for each particular product to work. This way you will know when you can expect to see clearing and not stop using the product(s) before you see results. As a rule of thumb, it takes 6 to 8 weeks before you begin to see an improvement.

6. Use medications as directed.
Using more medication than directed will not improve results. In fact, it can make acne worse by aggravating the skin. Be sure to read all labels and use accordingly or as instructed by a dermatologist.

7. Avoid excess exposure to sunlight, and do not use tanning booths or sun lamps.
Contrary to popular belief, tanning does not clear acne; it simply masks acne. Tanning also increases one’s risk of developing melanoma and other skin cancers. Additionally, some acne treatments can increase the skin’s sensitivity to sunlight and ultraviolet light from tanning booths and sun lamps. If you have acne, it is important to protect your skin by following sun-protection practices, such as wearing sunscreen and avoiding sunburns.

Severe Acne Treatments

2008-05-09T08:56:00.000+01:00

Treatment of severe acne is something that some of us need to deal with at one time or another. Severe acne is when you have lumpy acne that does not go away and is very red. When I was younger I took Accutane to get rid of my severe acne as well as injections and drainage to get rid of my severe acne.

Drainage and Surgical Excision
Some large cysts do not respond to medication and may require drainage and extraction. Drainage and extraction, or acne surgery as it is also called, should not be performed by patients. Dermatologists are trained in the proper technique and perform acne surgery under sterile conditions. Patient attempts to drain and extract comedones by squeezing or picking, can lead to infection, worsening of the acne and scarring.

Severe acne requires an aggressive treatment
regimen and should be treated by a dermatologist.

Acne Injections
When an acne cyst becomes severely inflamed, there is a good chance it will rupture and scarring may result. To treat these severely inflamed cysts and prevent scarring, dermatologists may inject such cysts with a much-diluted corticosteroid. This lessens the inflammation
and promotes healing. An interlesional corticosteroid injection works by “melting” the cyst over a period of 3 to 5 days. As painful as this may sound I never found it to be bad at all, the needle is this and it is really good to get rid of the lumpy red zits.

Accutane
Accutane is a potent drug reserved for treating severe cystic acne and acne that has proven itself resistant to other medications. Accutane is a synthetic (man-made) retinoid (form of vitamin A) that comes in pill form. It is usually taken once or twice a day for 16 to 20 weeks.

Today, it is the most effective acne treatment available because it is the only acne treatment that works on all four factors that predispose a person to acne - excess oil production, clogged skin pores, P. acnes and inflammation. The remissions achieved with Accutane usually last for many months to many years. For many patients, only one course of Accutane therapy is needed.

While Accutane is the most effective acne treatment available, it cannot be prescribed to everyone due to a number of potential side effects, some serious. One of the most serious side effects is the potential to cause severe birth defects in a developing fetus. For this reason, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) requires that women not be (or become) pregnant while taking Accutane. FDA regulations require women of childbearing age to take 2 pregnancy tests prior to beginning Accutane therapy and use 2 forms of birth control for 1 month before therapy begins, while taking the drug and for 1 full month after therapy. It is also important that women not breast feed during this time. Women who wish to become pregnant after taking Accutane should talk to their dermatologist and gynecologist about when it is safe to get pregnant after receiving Accutane therapy.

Other possible severe side effects that may occur while taking Accutane include:

* Severe pain in the chest or abdomen
* Trouble swallowing or painful swallowing
* Severe headache, blurred vision or dizziness
* Bone and joint pain
* Nausea or vomiting
* Diarrhea or rectal bleeding
* Depresion
* Dryness of the skin, eyes and nose
* Thinning hair

If any side effect occurs, the patient’s dermatologist or other healthcare practitioner should be contacted immediately because some of these side effects can lead to serious health problems.

While taking Accutane, patients are regularly monitored for side effects through follow-up visits. For most people, these side effects are tolerable and not a reason to discontinue therapy before remission is achieved. However, it is important to keep appointments for follow-up visits because monitoring can reveal conditions that a patient might not notice. For example, a patient may not realize a rapid increase in bad cholesterol that is detected through a blood test.

The decision to use Accutane should be made jointly by patient and dermatologist. When used with all due caution under close medical supervision, Accutane can resolve severe acne that has not responded to other therapy. It has proven especially effective in resolving cystic acne, a severe form of acne that usually does not respond to other therapies.

For a substantial number of patients, one course of Accutane therapy is all they will ever need. A small number of patients require more than one course of Accutane therapy to control severe acne.

It is important to take Accutane as prescribed even if the skin clears before all of the pills have been taken to prevent relapse. At the end of an effective course of Accutane therapy, all or most of the acne lesion will have cleared. Patients may notice residual erythematous (reddish) macules (flat spots) where acne lesions were present. These macules are not scars, and they will fade in 6 to 8 weeks.

After therapy, patients should continue to follow the Skin Care Guidelines for People with Acne.

Antibiotic pills
Oral antibiotics have been a mainstay of therapy for severe acne for many years. Like topical antibiotics, oral antibiotics work to reduce the P. acnes population (a contributing factor in acne), which, in turn, decreases inflammation. Treatment with oral antibiotics usually begins with a high dosage, which is reduced as the acne resolves. Over time, the P. acnes bacteria can become resistant to the antibiotic being used to treat it. When this happens, another antibiotic can be prescribed. Numerous studies support the effectiveness of the following broad-spectrum oral antibiotics that are used to treat acne in the United States: doxycline, erythromycin, minocycline and tetracycline. For information about each of these oral antibiotics, see Prescription Acne Medications.

Birth Control pills
Birth Control pills have been shown to effectively clear acne in women by suppressing the overactive sebaceous glands. Oral contraceptives can be used as long-term acne therapy; however, this medication should not be prescribed to women who smoke, have a blood-clotting disorder, are older than 35 or have a history of migraine headaches without the advice of a gynecologist.

Spironolactone, a synthetic steroid, may be used in combination with birth control pills to treat acne in adult females. Spironolactone inhibits androgen production. Side effects include irregular menstruation, breast tenderness, headache and fatigue

Proper Eating as a Natural Acne Treatment

2008-05-09T08:55:00.000+01:00

As an acne sufferer you have probably wondered for years what you can do to naturally get rid of your acne. Most dermatologists are quite happy to very quickly throw a prescription for Accutane or Tetracycline at you. How about more holistic natural methods to treat your acne? Eating is a great natural acne treatment.

Instead of immediately trying to treat your acne with pills or creams why not try your best to be more healthy in the way that you eat and see what your eating is going to do to help you.

Most dermatologists and the health industry as a whole do not seem to care much about the food you eat but think about your body and the way that your body reacts to food in other ways. If you eat greasy food how do you feel? Tired? If you drink too much coffee how do you feel? Shaky and distracted?

Fogetting what the skin doctor days for a moment why not take a serious look at your diet and get really serious about cleaning up your diet. Here are some things that you should definitely avoid.

Greasy Foods - Deep fried foods are the very worst thing that you can eat. I have always found that my skin will break out if I eat a lot of greasy food.

Sugar - Sweets are very bad as they start your body in unnaturally increasing your metabolism and we do not even want to talk about how this will affect your blood sugar.

Caffeine - caffeine stimulates hormone production. This is bad.

Other than the above foods it is important to remember that dairy products like milk and cheeses as well as refined and cooked carbohydrates like flour, bread, rice, and chips are acid-forming in the body.

If you really want to get rid of acne, you need to eat more alkaline-forming foods like fresh vegetables and fruit, as well as some nuts and seeds.

Eating really can be a great natural treatment for acne. Looking at this list of foods you can probably guess that the more natural a food that you eat and the closer that it is to the source (unrefined) the better it will be for you.

One more thing to remember in this system is that you really need to drink water. Water is going to have a much bigger effect on your then almost anything else. What water will do is clean out your body as well as regulating your sweat and metabolism.

Try this natural acne treatment using healthy eating and your will see that it will help you get rid of your acne better then any prescription can.

How To Gain Respect And Support For Yourself And Your Business

2008-05-09T08:52:00.001+01:00

“He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce”
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

To gain respect from others, you have to respect yourself first. People will give you their undying respect as long as they recognise that you portray these 3 key attrib-utes: trustworthiness, integrity and mindfulness. Because having these qualities demonstrates your level of consciousness and maturity.

When people respect you, it is easier to get their support. Getting people to give you continuous support, also requires you to apply yourself. Here are ways to help you make an impact on people whom you want respect and support from.

1. Be exuberant and passionate about what you do and your life
People love those who exude vibrancy and passion about their life, particularly about what they do. Think of this: how stimulating do you find people who are forever talking about their “big ideas” and what they want to do and yet, never starting anything? Now that’s a damper!

2. Be unique and individualistic in your views and opinions
Are you unique and stand out with your own style and personality? If you are afraid to voice your opinion, and would rather fit in, I can assure you that it will be difficult to command respect from others. And without respect, no support. This doesn’t mean that you have to constantly come up with new innovations. It simply implies that you don’t suck up to people, just because you want validation. The best validation is to be true to yourself.

3. Be a great listener. All great listeners are magnetic and charismatic.
There is no charm that equals that of a good listener. Here is an experience I had in a restaurant with my husband not too long ago. I noticed that my husband was fascinated by a woman sitting a few tables way from us.
When I asked him what got him so fascinated about her. He replied that the woman was just fascinating to watch, because she was listening so intently to her partner. Her eyes were on him, as she leaned forward, giving him her feedback, and at the same time not interrupting him. While she let him know that she was hearing him, she also held up her end of the conversation.

Then my husband said something remarkable: “She’s the kind of woman I normally wouldn’t pay attention to on the street, but while sitting there, listening and being interested the way she’s doing now, makes her attractive.”
True listening embodies careful attention, patience and honestly wanting to understand what the other person is saying. It also fosters good relationship.

4. Be a life long student. Let people know that you’re willing to learn from them and be genuine about it.
Learning is growing, and growing is learning. You cannot learn all by yourself. To truly grow, you need others along the way. And when you show people your willingness and enthusiasm to learn from them, you’ll be amazed how helpful and happy they will be to support you.

Be open and get to know people who are different from you. If you’re interested in something, never be afraid to ask questions. You won’t be ridiculed for showing real interest.

Do you know people who have stopped learning? Do you find them interesting to have around? Probably not! So do yourself the favour of becoming an avid learner.

5. Be authentic and reliable.
Before you make a promise, make sure you can deliver. Keeping your word is very crucial to building trust and credibility. There’s nothing more detrimental to your im-age, than having people believing in you and letting them down.

There are times you may genuinely try to fulfil your promise and it just doesn’t work out. In that case, be honest about it and apologize. No one will hold that against you.

6. Be generous.
A generous heart gives freely without having any expectations. Don’t try to buy people’s loyalty or support. It will backfire on you! You will reap more benefit and reward by giving truly from your heart, rather than being calculating. Even if you don’t get something in return, the eternal laws of reciprocity will find a way to balance things out for you and give you your dues.

7. Be direct and have boundaries.
When you have something to say, just say it and let people know where you stand. Letting people know what you want and don’t want, liberates you and those around you. Don’t allow people to walk all over you. Let them know your boundaries.

For instance, to avoid lying about a proposition which may not interest you, a more appropriate answer could be: “I’m sorry that doesn’t work for me right now”. This is a straightforward and truthful answer making it easy for you and for others to move on.

In conclusion, do you trust and respect yourself? Because if you don’t, no one else will. This especially means be true to yourself and what you believe in. Just as Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves”.

Your 9 most important career planning tips

2008-05-09T08:25:00.004+01:00

1. Never Stop Learning

Life-long learning is your keyword.

The world is constantly changing, and everybody is looking for new ways of doing business.

If you have decided that your current skills are good enough, you have also decided that your current job is good enough.

But if you want a career in the future, you should add regular updates to your skills and knowledge.

2. A good listener can learn a lot.

Listen to your co-workers, your boss, and your superiors. You can learn a lot from their experience.

Ask about issues that interest you, and listen to what they say. Let them tell you about how things work, and what you could have done better.

Most people will love to be your free tutor.

3. Fulfill Your Current Job

Your current job might be best place to start your career.

It is often very little that separates successful people from the average. But nothing comes free.

If you do your job well and fulfill your responsibilities, this is often the best way to start a new career.

Talk to your supervisor about things you can do. Suggest improvements. Offer your help when help is needed. In return ask for help to build a better career. It is often possible - right inside your own organization - especially if you have proved to be a valued employee.

4. Build Your Network

Your next career step might arise from your contact network.

Did you know that more than 50% of all jobs are obtained from contact networks?

If you have a good contact network, it is also a good place to discover future careers, to explore new trends, and to learn about new opportunities.

Spend some time building new contacts, and don't forget to maintain the ones you already have.

One of the best ways to get serious information from your network is to regularly ask your contacts how they are, what they do, and what is new about their careers.

5. Identify Your Current Job

Your current job should be identified, not assumed.

Make sure you don't work with tasks you assume are important. This is waste of time and talent.

When you start in a new job, talk to your superior about your priorities. If you're not sure about what is most important, then ask him. And ask him again. Often you will be surprised about the differences between what you assume, and what is really important.

6. Identify Your Next Job

Your dream job must be identified.

Before you start planning your future career, be sure you have identified your dream job.

In your dream job, you will be doing all the things you enjoy, and none of the things you don't enjoy. What kind of job would that be?

Do you like or dislike having responsibility for other employees. Do you like to work with technology or with people? Do you want to run your own business? Do you want to be an artist, a designer or a skilled engineer? A manager?

Before building your future career your goal must be identified.

7. Prepare Yourself

Your dream might show up tomorrow. Be prepared.

Don't wait a second. Update your CV now, and continue to update it regularly.

Tomorrow your dream job may show up right before your nose. Prepare for it with a professional CV and be ready to describe yourself as a valuable object to anyone that will try to recruit you.

If you don't know how to write a CV, or how to describe yourself, start learning it now.

8. Pick The Right Tools

Pick the tools you can handle.

You can build your future career using a lot of different tools. Studying at W3Schools is easy. Taking a full master degree is more complicated.

You can add a lot to your career by studying books and tutorials (like the one you find at W3Schools). Doing short time courses with certification tests might add valuable weight to your CV. And don't forget: Your current job is often the most valuable source of building new skills.

Don't pick a tool that is too heavy for you to handle!

9. Realize Your Dreams

Put your dreams into action.

Don't let a busy job kill your dreams. If you have higher goals, put them into action now.

If you have plans about taking more education, getting a better job, starting your own company or something else, you should not use your daily job as a "waiting station". Your daily job will get more and more busy, you will be caught up in the rat race, and you will burn up your energy.

If you have this energy, you should use it now, to realize your dreams.

Will your referees help you to secure that dream job?

2008-05-09T08:17:00.001+01:00

When applying for a new position, strategically picking the correct referees requires as much thought as tightening your CV and preparing to impress in that all important interview.

"Picking a suitable referee is more than just getting someone to say something nice about you. A good reference can give you the edge you need to help convince a prospective that employer you are the right candidate for the position" said Amy Klingel, Division Director of Office Team.

"In the competitive job market, the outcome of a reference check can ‘make or break’ your chances of securing a position" continued Amy.

According to Klingel, there are a few tips to keep in mind when selecting your next referee:

· Always select someone who can discuss your skills and experience in relation to the position you are applying for.

· Brief your referee on the position you are applying for, including the qualities and characteristics you feel are essential for the role. It is also a good idea to forward an updated copy of your CV to remind your referee of your accomplishments that may be of interest to a potential employer.

· A referee will need to demonstrate your strengths and experiences by providing examples of how you have applied your skills within the workplace. Will your referee be able to articulate this?

· Ensure your referee is someone you have spoken to recently and with whom you have maintained a good relationship. Including references from your most recent employment can help highlight contemporary experiences in a concise manner.

· Let them know in advance that they may be contacted to allow them ample time to prepare. Apart from being the polite approach, this is also a great way to make sure contact details are correct and to discuss the role you are applying for. Don’t presume a referee will effortlessly be able provide a captivating reference, especially if they are caught unprepared.

· Show your appreciation by writing a thank you note to each of your referees, letting them know the outcome of your job search. This will not only help expand your network, but can also increase your job referrals.

"Remember, referees are a vital part of a job search and shouldn’t be overlooked. The information they provide can impact your chances of securing the position" concluded Klingel.

What is your resistance to weight loss?

2008-05-09T08:15:00.000+01:00

Whenever we are aiming for a big change such as weight loss, we obviously need to change our lifestyle and eating habits. This is when we start making excuses. But you have to remember that excuses will take you nowhere. Excuses won’t help you to lose weight; diet and exercises will do. If you really want to lose weight, you need to be thoroughly disciplined. If you dig deeper into the kind of excuses you make, you will see that some of them are just baseless.

What you need to know is how to stop making excuses and reach your weight loss goal fast.

To save themselves from the rigors of diet and exercise, people tend to make various excuses. If you ask them to exercise, they will say that it is too boring and that they don’t feel comfortable doing it; still others will pronounce that they haven’t got any time for exercise because they have got to juggle with a family and a job. If you ask them to diet, they will say that they don’t have any time to cook those healthy meals or that it is too boring. Even though people want to lose weight, they don’t want to take the necessary action because of the fear of failure; hence the lame excuses.

The first thing you need to do is to find out the reason behind your excuses. Are they plain, lame excuses or are there valid reasons behind them? Do you want to do things in a better way? Unless there is a valid reason behind your excuses, they are just ways to procrastinate; therefore, unless you get rid of those excuses, you can never really lose any amount of weight.

A saying goes that you become what you think. If you continuously fill up your mind with negative thoughts of failure, how can you expect yourself to be successful? You should instead think positive. You should think about the nice things that will happen in your life once you lose weight and become slimmer. Just because others have failed to lose weight doesn’t mean that you will get the same results as well!

As for the excuse of not having time for exercises, try to think for a while: do you really want to lose weight badly? When we need something very badly, we always find time for it. So if you are not finding time for your workouts, maybe that you really don’t want to lose weight that badly. Remember that if you want to shed off your pounds, you will HAVE to find time for exercises. You will have to make exercises as important as your other important activities.

If you are getting overwhelmed with the current weight loss program, look for a change. If you think that it is too hard to lose weight, then you can join an online support group where you will get plenty of encouragement and help from your peers. You can also take clinically proven weight loss supplements such as Proactol(tm). Make sure to consult your doctor before taking any weight loss supplements, as even the best supplements can have harmful side effects on your health if your body fails to adjust itself to the medicine.

Why fat people stay fat

2008-05-09T08:12:00.000+01:00

Why do fat people stay fat? Sure we all know that there are a lot of people that lose weight and there are surely a lot of people that take diets seriously. Heck we even know that behind every get skinny for a buck plan there is someone that really does know how to stop people from getting fat by helping people lose weight in a healthy way.
So why are people still fat and getting fatter all the time?

Well there are several reasons that people have so much trouble keeping a healthy weight and I think that there are five key reasons why and how people can lose weight successfully and for good.

1. Fast food – We have been happy to eat fast food for many years now. People still talk with pride of the first Canadian McDonalds going up down the road where I grew up in Richmond BC. The trouble with fast food is everywhere. Serving sizes are way too big, the fat level is too high, there are far too many bready carbs. And the real problem with fast food? It is getting bigger and the hold that the big fast food companies have on kids with free toys means that even parents don’t have as much say as they should have.

2. A departure from fresh fruits and veggies – I don’t want to sound like some sharecropping hippie but most people if they really had to think about it have some vegetables at dinner…if they are lucky and maybe an apple a day. Well an apple a day is not enough to keep the doctor away. Most healthy diets (except Atkins) say you should have six or more servings of fruits or vegetables in a day. How many do you have?

3. Reliance on starches – Hey I am as guilty of this as anyone. I have a bagel every morning for breakfast. But if you were serious about your diet do you think that you are taking in too much breads or rice or potatoes (fried or otherwise). There is a truth that the artificially low prices for grains in north America has led to the cheapest food being overprocessed grain based foods. Economics aside a healthy diet should not probably be base on 70% of our diet being crap carbs.

4. Lack of exercise – Exercise is as easy as walking to school or riding a bike to work but how many people do that anymore. Everyone has a couple of cars and the people that should walk don’t. The other problem is that there is now like never before a very rich supply of entertainment. 30 years ago there were no DVDs no video games, no TIVO and no HDTV to keeps us talking tomorrow about the great show on TV last night. 30 years ago people watched an few hours a week of TV at most and now that number is an average of a few hours of TV or internet a day. There is a really easy fix for this and that is to drive less and join clubs that allow us to exercise more, preferably in the morning. TV of course should always be optional…and yes I probably watch too much TV myself.

5. Bouncing from diet to diet – OK this one is the diet industries dream. Everyone that goes on a diet has a phase where they lose weight and then a phase where their body sort of shuts down, metabolism slows and the energy goes down as do the weight losses. Even on the best of longer term diets people lose weight and all of the above kick in as soon as the diet is over. “I’m not on a diet, I don’t need a daily workout and that muffin looks great!” Well we all need to realize that pop culture has become the weight losers enemy. The sooner that you realize what you can eat for the expenditure of energy the better.

This is not an exhaustive list but I get email every day and I see people complain every day that they can not lose weight or keep the weight off. It is easy to blame the hand that puts the food in the mouth but maybe we should think a little more about how outside influences can affect how we think and feel about food and exercise.

If you are interested in stopping this cycle of losing weight only to gain it back then you need to make sure that you are looking at the above list, not seeking magic bullets and realizing that a diet is something that you always need to live with. Change your habits and your lifestyle and weight loss will not turn back into weight gain.

Boundaries, What Are They?

2008-05-09T08:10:00.000+01:00

When Robert Frost said, “Good fences make good neighbors,” he was on to something. Our ability to relate to others in a healthy way depends on our awareness of not stepping aggressively into their territory—physical and psychological—and not letting them step into ours. Boundaries are protective limits that prevent abuse and unwanted liberties. They serve well to express who we are and work best when they’re based on respect for ourselves and others.

We need both external and internal boundaries to function well with the people in our lives without resentment and with integrity. They help us, too, to be discriminating about whom we allow in. Having fences and keeping them mended makes for good relationships.

What do you mean by external boundaries?

These are the easier ones-- about physical limits. We set boundaries about how closely we let others come to us and whether or not we allow them to touch us. These boundaries vary depending on how well we know and love the person. In ordinary social situations, a respectful distance of 18 inches is comfortable for most people. When we encounter a “close talker,” we find ourselves moving backward to reclaim our 18 inches. Even in elevators, if the usual distance isn’t possible, we maintain integrity by not making physical contact. We need to be aware of not invading someone else’s space and not touching someone unless they make it clear that it’s welcome.

Sexual boundaries fit into this category also. We control whether we say yes or no to the person, place, time and manner for sexual interaction and others have the same rights in regard to us. Rape would be the ultimate violation of a sexual boundary, but an overly-enthusiastic kiss of a host or hostess can also overstep the line, as well as a lascivious stare at a co-worker.

External boundaries are violated when someone steals from you or spies on you, eavesdrops on your private conversations, checks your e-mail, goes through your briefcase or your drawers, reads your journal, borrows your belongings without permission, etc.

How about internal boundaries?

These are the more challenging kind! Just like the external boundaries, there are those designed to protect us from the world and those that protect the world from us!

We impose internal boundaries on ourselves to show respect for others when we are doing the speaking. This means that we refrain from yelling and name-calling. We don’t say things that are demeaning or insulting, that ridicule or patronize, or that blame and shame. We learn to express our feelings in moderation.

We’re being respectful of others, too, when we’re discriminating about how much self-revelation we do and to whom. Sharing too much personal information with someone you don’t know well can be awkward and uncomfortable for them. They may be too polite to make that known, but if their boundaries are healthy, they may back off from us. People who ramble on, even if they’re not discussing personal issues, show a lack of respect for their listeners.

When we are the listener, our sense of boundaries is challenged even further because we can’t control the speaker, but we have to create boundaries about how we allow their words in and how we let them affect us. If speakers are exhausting with their chatter or offensive with their remarks, we can limit our time with them by making a gracious exit or we can change the subject. If they’re complaining about us personally, we want to be open enough to let in the truth, but not so vulnerable that we take in even what isn’t true.

First we can get ourselves into a safe physical position—moving to a different chair, walking to the other side of a table, holding a pillow on our laps. We want to be comfortable enough to listen with some understanding of where this person is coming from. If there’s anger, what’s below it? Are they afraid, insecure, hurt? We can listen to discover something about who this person is instead of listening with righteousness as we plan our defense. Many of us feel unfairly attacked when faced with any criticism. After all we do and how generous, hard-working and responsible we are!! How could anyone dare confront us? Especially someone who doesn’t measure up to our standards!

Even when their words are blaming, we have to maintain that internal boundary of not taking on blame. We aren’t responsible for making someone feel, think or do anything. Each of us is responsible for what we feel, think and do ourselves. But, oh how this can trigger us into a counter-attack! It takes some courage and discipline to experience the emotions this triggers and breathe our way through it without lashing out.

Another internal listening boundary that we can set for ourselves is to be objective about whether what they’re saying is really true. When arguing, many folks will say, “You always…” or, “You never…” when such a statement is rarely true. But often, there is some truth tucked into that generalization that we can be willing to evaluate. When it is true, feeling shameful and inferior isn’t going to make anything better. If the truth makes us feel guilty and fearful, we have to remind ourselves that we’re really O.K.—no better than anyone else and no worse than anyone else. We can choose to work on our failing without losing self-esteem and can actually feel better about ourselves because we are willing to try again to be a better person.

When an accusation isn’t true, we have to detach from the emotion it triggered and let it pass through us like light or shadow passes through clear glass. It doesn’t stick like a dart on a dartboard or stab our hearts like a knife. Other people have a right to their opinions and their points of view and we can respect their differences without getting defensive, angry and hurt.

Establishing boundaries is a way of living respectfully. It doesn’t mean creating a Berlin Wall that isolates and alienates. But it does mean setting healthy limits that express our reverence for other human beings and prevent the world from running roughshod over us until we resent the intrusion or abuse.

Personal Boundaries, Just Say No!

2008-05-09T08:03:00.000+01:00

For some people saying no is far less comfortable than having a root canal. They’ll stay late at work without compensation, work through the night sewing costumes for a class play, volunteer at church on a day when they’ve already planned to do food shopping for an elderly parent and watch the grandchildren. They may agree to help a friend with a home improvement project that takes up many weekends or lend their car to someone who is careless, accident-prone and broke. Need some money? A ride? Someone to water the plants for a month? Just ask these “nice guys” or “great gals” who end up feeling overbooked, stressed and depleted!

Do you recognize yourself in this description?

Here are seven things to consider about how to respect your boundaries and say no:

• Postpone your answer. Give yourself time to think of prior commitments and how your “Yes” may impact you and others involved. You can say, “Let me check my calendar and see if that’s a possibility,” or “Let me talk that over with David and I’ll get back to you.”

• Respond with emotional neutrality. If anger and resentment surface at the time of the request, allow it to settle down before you give an answer.

• Honor that feeling of dread that arises by being honest. You can still be gracious without committing to something you’ll regret. Here’s where you can say, “I have too much on my plate right now and can’t add another commitment.”

• Be prepared for further honesty when the one making the request tries to talk you into it. When you say no, citing your busy-ness as the reason, they may want to set up something for next month. This is when you can admit, “I’d love to help you out, but I’m not comfortable doing that,” or, “I don’t want to get involved in this, but I wish you luck.”

• You don’t owe people long, detailed explanations. Saying no doesn’t necessitate a rebuke about why they’re bad and wrong for making the request. When a relative or friend is over-reliant on you because of your past support, they may be surprised or hurt by a negative response, but you don’t have to give your time, money or expertise just because you’ve given it before. And you don’t need to list the reasons why they’re unworthy because you’ve already done more than enough.

• You may suggest other possibilities that haven’t been considered—“Maybe you could try…” or “Have you thought about…” Someone else’s problems aren’t yours, so you can be supportive and offer guidance or direction without actually providing solutions.

• Maintain good will and good humor. You don’t have to be offended that someone is asking you to do or to give something. You can wish them well without feeling righteous or put upon. A request is just a request, not a command. You can be loving and generous and still say no.

3 Tips to Recognizing a Bad Online Relationship (And What to Do About It)

2008-05-09T07:51:00.006+01:00

As more and more people are turning to the internet to make friends, some important issues come up which must be addressed. In recent news stories, we’ve been seeing that what starts on the internet doesn’t necessarily stay on the internet, so while some people make some very good friends and end up with a nice family, others make some very bad ones and end up on CNN.

I feel it’s important to put forth a set of guidelines to abide by for telling whether or not your budding relationship is something to worry about. Remember though that the internet is the den of uncertainty and the best place in the world to be anonymous, so no matter how careful you are, there will always be people who can trick you into believing them.

Screen Name: Most online meetings and discussions happen in the comfortable confines of either an internet chatroom or an instant messaging conversation. In both of these cases, the person you’re dealing with will have what’s known as a screen name; essentially their alias. As such, it is supposed to represent them in the online world, and we can make use of this fact to get a first impression of how our friend-to-be actually is. Here are some examples to illustrate the point:
- Safe Screen Names: If your ~~target~~ friend-to-be has a username like “Albert Weesly” (their actual name), “Sunshine ‘N Lollypops”, or “Puppy_Lvr992″ (cute and harmless), then chances are you’re dealing with a nice person who won’t give you any trouble in the relationship. Unless you’re allergic to dogs.
- Bad Screen Names: If, on the other hand, their screen name resembles any of the following: “Herp_ez”, “Rap(p)er”, and “Charlie McPredator”, then chances are you’re making a major mistake. While I understand that some of these may simply be attempts (sad ones) at humour, you have to stop and think for a minute if you really want to be pursuing a relationship with someone who’s got that kind of sense of humour.
First Chat: This is it; the big moment. You’ve met this person through heated discussions on your favourite soap opera plot discussion forum and now you’re ready to make the big move and talk to them one on one. This is a big moment because two vital things are going to be happening; first off, you’ll be able to get your first glimpse of what this person is “really” like, and secondly, they’ll be able to get their first impression of you (keep this in mind, it’ll be useful later on if things go rotten). If they seem friendly, courteous, polite and respectful right off the bat then you’re on your way to a good thing. If, on the other hand, they seem rushed, impatient, pressing or rude, then you’re going to want to nip things in the bud and move on. One vital thing to look for is them being open about themselves without being extremely pushy about getting to know every little detail about you. In this category I should also offer a warning: look out for the ones that work on the eye-for-an-eye conversation method; they tell you something about themselves and then ask you for your equivalent piece of information immediately. It’s a cheap trick, so don’t fall for it. They should talk about themselves comfortably, without blatant bragging. Then, when you mention something about yourself, it’s a good sign if they seem interested.
Follow-Up: So, after a pretty encouraging first chat, you’ve gone about your normal life until you and Prince Charming (or Princess Charmoiselle) decide to have another little chat. The way that this and other subsequent conversations go will give you the final bits of information you need before deciding whether or not to keep talking to them. The person in question should continue to be just as courteous and polite as they were in the first conversation, while maintaining an open attitude and a healthy interest in the things you tell them. Having said that, make sure the interest is focussed on how you feel about those things or how they affected you and other positive, healthy interests instead of focussing on where you’ll be next and what you’ll be wearing. If all goes well then you’re probably on your way to a great friendship.

Of course, things could also go terribly wrong. Perhaps your wannabe-buddy turns out to be a complete creepy weirdo who just wants to take advantage of some honest friendship; what do you do then? Well don’t worry, I have some helpful pointers for dealing with your problem. The first thing to do is start simple; tell them you don’t want to talk to them anymore and/or block them on your instant messenger. If you’re going back to that forum, you may want to consider using the “ignore user” function to, you guessed it, ignore your buddy. Sometimes though, you’ll find yourself with a very persistent little bugger who has a deficiency in the “Getting the Message” department. Congratulations, you have an online stalker.

Now it’s time to get creative. If they made another IM account to talk to you on and they keep doing that, I have a perfect way to get rid of them. Make yourself look unattractive to them. Remember when I told you to keep in mind that first impression business? Well now’s the time to bring that back up. If trying to avoid them doesn’t work, try a radically different tack and talk to them. But instead of being the good, attractive you, do some acting and scare your stalker away. Here’s a conversation to illustrate:

Stalker: Hey…I heard you’re gonna be in the area tonite; dinner?
You: Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?
Stalker: Yeah, but I know ur just playin hard to get lol you want me
You: Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me with this quilt for AGES. I mean, I keep trying to finish on my own but the wool sometimes gets tangled and I’m not much good at it…
Stalker: lol what?
You: You know, my quilt. I want you to help me make it!
Stalker: how bout we have some fun under it instead?
You: Hey, that’s a great idea! We can pretend it’s a cape and play Captain America while watching the cartoon on TV. I LOVE that show! And then we can show mum and dad our skit; I’m sure they’ll like you.
Stalker: Uhh…
You: Except we might have to wait a few days, the hospital only allows me three visitors per month..:(
Stalker: *logs off*

It’s all about being creative. Avoid them, and if that doesn’t work then fight fire with fire and creep the creeps away. Hopefully though, with this guide you’ll manage to weed out the bad relationships before they actually happen so you can enjoy your online friendships and let them blossom into positive experiences.

Happy eFlirting!

Successful Weight Loss Tips

2008-05-09T07:50:00.002+01:00

One of the good-old posts around the Internet on weight loss is by Kathy Goodwin, called Successful Weight Loss: Our Top Ten Tips on What Works and Why. It is not teaching you about quick and temporary weight loss tips - Instead, their tips require quite a lot work, as those are long term weight loss methods and able you to have long term success:

Exercise
Pump Iron
Keep a Diary
Stay Focused on Healthy, Not Thin
Find Out What’s Eating You
Get Support
Watch Your Portions
Lose Weight Slowly With Small Changes
Slow Down
Eat Less Fat, But Do It Wisely

The fourth tip makes a lot of sense to me:

Stay Focused on Healthy, Not Thin - Many people become more successful at long term weight loss when their motive changes from wanting to be thinner to wanting to be healthier. Change your mindset to think about selecting foods that will help your body’s health rather than worrying about foods that will affect your body’s weight. The Food Pyramid offers a basic outline of the types and amounts of food you should eat each day to give your body the nutrients it needs for optimal health…

The Pride Paradox

2008-05-09T07:50:00.001+01:00

People tend to have very good opinions of themselves, have you noticed that? Coincidentally, other peoples’ opinions of them tend to be very different from their own in direct proportion to how egotistical the person is. But why is that?

Self-esteem is an interesting facet of our psyche which essentially dictates what we think of ourselves. Some people think very highly of themselves, which you would think is the smart thing to do. However, it turns out that this is not usually the case. People who think too highly of themselves are considered to have taken it too far - into the realm of being “egotistical”.

As an egotistical person, one will generally be more concerned about everything to do with oneself than anything to do with anyone else. This aggravates other people, especially if there is bragging involved. Most of the time, the annoyance comes from the fact that the person really isn’t as good and talented and muscular and intelligent and lean and sexy and healthy and successful as they claim to be.

Now things start to get complicated; even if the person is as great as they say they are, people are still put off by it. For a different reason though; bragging upsets people even when it’s not a lie. This is because they’re either jealous or they don’t care. Either way, it’s very important to keep this in mind because knowing when to stop praising yourself is a key to developing successful social relationships.

So okay, we get that bragging and thinking too highly of yourself can get you in trouble, so logically, we could assume that doing the opposite would produce favourable results. Ha, we’d be wrong. Turns out that thinking too little of yourself can also be problematic, especially when you voice it because then people get annoyed with that too. You see the paradox now.

So what can you do? Well, there is a solution. Obviously, there is a middle ground between too much and too little self-esteem. But that middle ground can be a little hard to pin-point. Here, it’s important to introduce a new term: “self-confidence”. It’s not quite the same thing in the way I’m using it because I’m using the term to describe thinking highly of yourself without verbalizing it and upsetting people.

So you can be confident in what you know to be true about yourself, without displaying that aggravating amount of insecurity by trying to make the whole world know about it as well - let your actions speak for you and let other people notice it that way. People naturally admire someone who seems to know where they’re at; someone who’s proud what they’re doing and has enough confidence in it not to be concerned with showing it off.

So be confident instead of self-centred and you will have overcome the Pride Paradox!

Workplace workout and health tips

2008-05-09T07:49:00.001+01:00

I’m going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding in just over two months and it has just hit me: my dress will be here in a few weeks and it might not fit as nicely as I’d like it to! While I don’t want to lose so much weight that the dress no longer fits me [ahem], I would not mind beginning a healthy program that guarantees that my bare arms are toned, my stomach protrudes as little as possible, and my chin and neck regions look long and elegant.

To this end, I’d like to suggest some healthy tips and exercise ideas that you can add to your (work) day. You’ve probably heard of or thought of these before but it never hurts to repeat them:

Who needs one hour for lunch?
No matter how long your lunch period is, I challenge you to slash it in half: spend half of it eating, and the other half walking. I must admit, if anybody had dared suggest this to me even a month ago, I’d have looked out the window and laughed in their face but spring is here and the sun is out. To make this even easier, I suggest you bring in a pair of running shoes to work and leave them there. This conveniently gets rid of the “I don’t have my appropriate footwear” excuse (one that I have used a few times in the past)!

Trade your coffee break for a water break
For those of you who use coffee as a jolt or pick me up, I know that replacing coffee with water probably won’t do the trick. However, if any drink will do, I suggest you trade in that coffee for water, or a beverage many don’t get enough of: milk. These two choices will help with hydration of the body and milk consumption has been linked to abdominal weight loss (see here and here), which is especially important since abdominal fat has been linked to diseases such as diabetes and hypertension.

Create an everpresent fruit bowl
I’m lazy and if I have to choose between eating the jellybeans in my desk drawer, or going to the kitchen, washing an apple and bringing it back to my desk to eat, I’ll reach for the jellybeans every time. So why not bring in a bowl, wash some fruit and keep them on your desk? This way it’s even more accessible than that bag of jellybeans that you have to open the drawer for! And hopefully, replenishing your jellybean supply will become a thing of the past, and you’ll tempt yourself with the bright colours of apples, oranges, peaches, plums and bananas instead. A coworker of mine does this and I have to stop myself from reaching for an apple when I’m in her office.

Take the stairs
Another coworker of mine (did I mention that about 70% of my coworkers are health freaks?) takes the stairs up to our office which is on the 15th floor. Fifteenth. She does this every day and considers it her exercise for the day. I am not yet at that level of fitness but I do know that I could take the elevator to the 10th floor and then climb the remaining flights of stairs if I wanted to. The workout that climbing upwards provides to your gluteals and thighs is worth the panting at the top of the stairs, I promise (and since very few people use the stairs, no one will witness it!). I intend to do this once a week, and hopefully work up from there.

What easy exercise/good health opportunities have you snuck into your day?

6 Don’ts for the End of Your Presentation

2008-05-09T07:48:00.000+01:00

ert Decker, CEO of Decker Communications, Inc., gives a quick six don’ts to avoid for successful presentation. He highlights that last three seconds would be how people remember you. Those six don’ts are:

Don’t step back.
Don’t look away.
Don’t move on the last word.
Don’t raise your hands.
Don’t rush to collect your papers.
Never blackball yourself

If you avoid those, you should able to show more confidences in front of the audience, and they will receive a deep impact from your presentation. Read Bert’s post for more details on each point.

3 tips for sexy strappy sandals

2008-05-09T07:47:00.000+01:00

SO, what is all this fuss about strappy sandals, you ask. Look around and you’ll know. Strappy sandals aren’t exactly the doctor’s prescription for comfortable footwear, but they definitely make you feel very feminine, cool, confident… and extremely sexy. It is a sleek way of showing some leg while ornamenting it with smart clean lines. Here are some tips to help you choose the right style:

If you are confused about whether or not to wear a strappy shoe with a certain outfit, then give it a skip. Straps usually go with delicate clothes, especially the thin straps. Choose the right shoe for the outfit. With floral printed skirts or those heavy on colour and design, match the heavier, multiple straps. In general, the sportier or funkier the outfit, the thicker the straps.

For the classic blacks and elegant dresses, choose a delicate shoe. They go great with formal gowns as they show maximum skin and don’t clash with the length of the gown.

10 TIPS FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

2008-05-09T07:46:00.000+01:00

Healthy relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. Studies show that people with healthy relationships have more happiness and less stress. There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, even though each relationship is different. Here are 10 tips for healthy relationships!
• Keep expectations realistic. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them!
• Talk with each other. It can’t be said enough: communication is essential in healthy relationships!
• Be flexible. It’s natural to feel uneasy about changes. But change and growth are important.
• Pay attention to you too. You probably hope those around you like you so you may try to please them or take care of them. Don’t forget yourself.
• Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are trustworthy!
• Fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about something; it doesn’t have to mean you don’t like each other!
• Smile, and show your interest. Relationships thrive through sharing warmth, and knowing each other!
• Keep your life balanced. Other people help make our lives satisfying but they can’t meet every need. Find what interests you and become involved.
• Sometimes it takes time. Most people have similar feelings about fitting in and getting along with others. Healthy relationships can be learned and practiced.
• Be you! It’s much easier and more fun to be authentic than to pretend to be someone else.

Ten Easy Ways to Improve Your Resume

2008-05-09T07:45:00.000+01:00

Katharine Hansen has pointed out some important tips for improving a resume. Resume is the first thing that presents yourself for a job - it is important to get it clear and reader-friendly. Katharine suggested ten practical tips for significant improvements on your resume:

Use a bulleted style to make your resume more reader-friendly.
Follow “The Resume Ingredients Rule.”
Eliminate “responsibilities” words from your resume vocabulary.
Eliminate clutter from your resume.
Use strong, concrete verbs to describe your jobs, and don’t mix noun and verb phrases.
Focus on describing past job activities that highlight the skills you most like to use and want to use in your next job.
Don’t fret about the one-page resume rule.
Make sure your resume has a sharp focus.
Don’t list too much experience on your resume.
Be sure the reader will understand all the acronyms and jargon you use in your resume.

I concur on Make sure your resume has a sharp focus. When i scan candidate’s resumes, I am looking for keywords, especially objective statement or summary if they mentioned. Those will save employer’s time and able to highlight your skills or experiences in a pool of candidates.

Time management tips

2008-05-09T07:44:00.000+01:00

Here are some time management tips that I heard on the radio:

Cut your workday by 30 minutes
Although this sounds like it would just make you have less time to accomplish that which needs doing, apparently you’ll be more efficient because you’ll know you have less time in which to do things. I guess it would force you to prioritize and determine which items really need to be done and which ones can be put off until a later date. My only question is: who is going to sell this idea to my boss?

Don’t multitask
This tip is music to my ears: I am terrible at multitasking (I can’t even eat or drink and walk at the same time) and it’s great to hear that studies have shown that it takes four times longer to do a task if you’re doing it in conjunction with other tasks. And think of all the errors that can happen when you’re doing a few different things at once! I keep thinking I’ll make a terrible mistake at work due to my attempts to multitask; the fact that we deal with confidential information makes it that much more frightening. Of course in an office setting, where people come to you with requests that they always seem to need “as soon as possible”, it might be hard to avoid having a couple of things going at once. But you can jot down a few things and then go back to the original task and finish it off in its entirety instead of jumping from task to task. That way you’re not losing any brilliant ideas that come to mind and you’re (relatively) focused on one task.

Don’t look at email first thing in the morning
I’ve heard different variations of this tip before. You’re (presumably) your most fresh and energetic in the morning so it makes sense that you spend those precious hours on work that requires you to be fresh and alert. Responding to inane email requests is therefore not the best use of alert self.

I’ve also heard that you should check email only once or twice a day (once in the morning and again in the evening). This is a wonderful time saver; I’ve tried it. The only time it gets tricky is when a coworker sends you an email and then comes to your office shortly thereafter to make sure you got their email! This can end up using more of your time as you’re now forced to read the email in the coworker’s presence and respond right away. But once coworkers know when you’ll be checking emails, they’ll know when to send you an email that requires your immediate attention.

Another related tip I’ve heard is to try to touch something only once. For example, if you pick up a file, do all that needs to be done to the file before putting it away. This means you might have to spend more time with the file than you planned but at least when you put it away you know you’ll be done with it for a while. This is a more efficient way of handling large numbers of files, and it also helps with minimizing the chances of mixing things up when multitasking. This is another tips that definitely works!

5 Body Care tips

2008-05-09T07:43:00.001+01:00

Ahealthy diet is always ‘in’. More so now with health conscious teenagers to corporate executives in their mid forties- being extremely calorie conscious. The Body Care (Park Street) provides 5 tips for a healthy day.
• Include all food groups in a balanced diet.
• Diet should contain adequate amount of protein mostly from animal source (meat, fish, and poultry).
• Lots of vegetable and fruits should be consumed as they provide fibre, vitamins and antioxidants, which help in anti-aging and also minimize disease causing elements.
• A combination of white oil and mustard oil as cooking medium is good for health.
• Tea or coffee should be taken at least one hour before or after the meal as they hinder iron absorption if taken along with the meal. Drink plenty of water as it flushes out toxins. For more details about a healthy diet, consult the dietician of The Body Care at

5 RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTION TIPS

2008-05-09T07:36:00.000+01:00

Tip 1: Make your resolutions in July

The problem with making resolutions on New Year’s Eve is that we’re focused on the wrong thing. We’re focused on the day, rather than on what we want to accomplish. We turn our resolution into an all-or-nothing proposition. We set unreasonable standards, make it an event and set ourselves up to fail before we even get started. If you’re serious about keeping your resolution, begin on December 17, or January 8, or any ordinary day of the year. DON’T MAKE IT A SPECIAL DAY! If you break your resolution on a Wednesday then start over on Thursday. Don’t wait for THE RIGHT TIME, or until January 1.

Tip 2: Think of your resolution as an ATM, but instead of instant cash, you want instant results

These days, most of us are programmed to be instantgratification-oriented. We give up if we don’t see immediate progress or if things don’t improve right away. Since the best way to improve your relationship is one minute at a time, one hour at a time and one day at a time, it’s okay if you mess up one minute or one day, you just have to start again. Improving your relationship is not like losing weight; you don’t have to wait for weeks or months to see the results. A hug, a kiss, a kind act can start improving it immediately. Start with an action in which you’re likely to get a positive reaction. It’ll give you confidence and motivation to continue.

Tip 3: Think small — even smaller

Have you ever walked 100 miles? Would you believe it if someone told you that you could effortlessly walk 100 miles without breaking into a sweat or losing your breath? Probably not, but it’s true, you can. In fact, you already have. You just didn’t do it at the same time. According to studies, over the course of your life, an average person walks over 100 miles. The average, overweight, sedentary person walks over 75 miles. You’ve probably already walked thousands of miles and you even ran part of the way. The point is, when making a resolution, promise yourself not to focus your attention on the end result you want to achieve but instead, focus on the steps along the way. Divide up your goal into tiny, manageable steps. Then break those steps into even smaller steps and you’ll make giant strides towards keeping your resolution.

Tip 4: Make a list and check it twice a day

It can be fun to share your resolutions with friends or your partner at a party on New Year’s Eve, but if you don’t write them down they just become so much confetti that gets swept away the next morning. This year, make a resolution ‘check-list’ and don’t stick it in a drawer. Place it somewhere where you can check it at least twice a day and chart your progress or lack of progress often. This will help you stay or get back on course.

Tip 5: Make your list specific and concrete

Once again, think small and break each resolution into very specific, concrete activities that you can check off as you accomplish them. Most of us make resolutions to be more romantic or more affectionate or to improve the way we communicate. But these are vague wishes that might just as well be tossed in a well. If you want to improve the way you communicate with your partner, be specific. Which area of ‘communication’ skills do you want to tackle? Agreements, apologies, arguing, expectations, fairness, listening, sharing? Choose one then list specific activities you want to work on. Then list the specific goal, so you know when you’ve achieved them.